#I promise to update once I have something of substance to show

[sims3fiend]

Some dumb sims 3 updates/stuf

Or, how to develop severe brain damage in 10 easy steps.

Sooo… This is going to be more of a blog post than anything of any real substance, more of a whinge with maybe a few teasers for some stuff I may or may not release (probably not). Feel free to skip if you're after hot tips or coherent writing.

Stutter "fixer"

Sooooo…. The sims 3 has some stutter issueeesss… Incredible discovery, I know! I started looking at remedying them with settings, found some hidden settings that help reduce some of the issues but that can only do so much when the game was made in 2009 for 2009 computers.

So I had a looky at some things I thought could be causing it, mainly WinAPI functions because that's the easier route (h-haha…), and started to try to "optimize" some of the more common ones:

ReadFile: Was the first, and looking at the sheer volume of like 12783972198 calls a milisecond every time you move the camera, I thought surely I can speed it up a little r-right. Not really. I tried all sorts of… interesting things, file caching in memory, implementing the overlapped flag (took ages), etc. Oh and the performance increase? Literally nothing. It's called weirdly from wherever it's called and so we must suffer.

Threads: So, I had a look at other areas that were potential targets for speedup, ran an actual profile and it showed a problem areas namely threads and some other stuff I don't remember. ZwWaitForMultipleObjects and WaitForSingleObject take up a lot of time, so I very poorly attempted to optimize them, adding some timeout optimizations (and a bunch of other failed attempts). Despite being the most insane, this actually worked, and I got like a 40% speed increase in a very very niche metric that did not noticeably effect the game one single bit. I plan to combine all my failures into a single script eventually, maybe once combined they'll do something…

Actual insanity - Memory IPC: Then I had an idea, everyone hates e12, why don't we shove the games memory into another process and that'll fix it. No brain moment. No clue what past me was thinking, for some reason I thought you could like, access another processes memory if it was spawned from it, but uhh.. no, that's not how things work… I tried a few other things in a similar vein but it just crashed and crashed, so for now I'm just gunna work on:

Alloc/free mee - Current insanity: Currently, I'm still working on VirtualAlloc and VirtualFree (which is what I was redirecting to another process), but more from an optimizing memory usage standpoint than a… whatever the IPC thing was. There's a lot of things to try, and I've had some luck in some areas and some abysmal failures in others. There's a few promising functions calling VirtualAlloc/Free that seem to be potentially pointing towards memory leaks (004e54d0), but I'm too dumb to investigate that. At the moment, I'm going mostly just gathering more logs which takes forever and hurts my brain real bad.. On testing there's like 180 allocs that we could probably yeet no problem, which is like 750mb saved… Maybe idk.

I have plenty of ideas for deduplication, memory pool implementations to reduce churn/fragmentation, shoving things aggressively into pagefiles if they're not being used, etc. etc. Basically, there's a lot of avenues to explore, and I feel like there's potential… though I've definitely said that before and been dead wrong so…

Anyway, rambling over. I plan to release a dumb little renderer settings mod maybe-soon-ish that'll let you do dumb stuff that might be useful for reshade like turn shadows/drop shadows off and post processing off and on. I guess I could add max lots and other settings eventually too since they're static values.... Might also do a mythbusting post for some performance "tweak" stuff I see thrown around that isn't super accurate but I also don't want people to be angry at me so maybe not.

Sorry to whoever read all this, but also thanks :)

[strongheartneteyam]

Realize where you belong.

Pairing: neteyam sully x female!dreamwalker!reader/female!human!reader

Chapter 6

CW: lots of angst, jealousy is not even the right word to describe neteyam's state anymore, emotionally hurt neteyam, yandere neteyam, reader has a hard time trying to fight her feelings for neteyam, mentions of using someone with the intention of forgetting someone else, mild violence, mentions of sexual fluids, possessive and territorial neteyam, mentions of depressive symptoms, use of alcohol, feelings of fear, tension, confessions of love, fluff. I think that's all (??)

✨ IM BACK ✨ I can't even believe I managed to finally update this fanfic! 😂 All of a sudden I spent days on end being a 24/7 nurse for my spayed kitten and didn't have time for anything + having to give her 2 different pills at 2 different times, all during the am hours, plus another one in the morning, left me SOOO sleep deprived. It was horrible. Thank God she doesn't have to take the pills anymore. ANYWAY lol Guys, in the beginning of the chapter until the middle of it, I think, I know you guys are gonna want to murder me or reader or both (you know that y/n meme with the pic of the blonde girl "choking" her own shadow in the wall, saying like "babe this is not us" or smth? so… pretty much that! lol) BUT I PROMISE it's gonna be really good in the end 🥲 trust me, please 🥺 it's the moment most of us (yes, me included!) have been waiting for! 💕 Also, this is a longer chapter, compared to the usual. Maybe a compensation for my absence? Idk! lol I just hope you guys like it! haha OKAY if I say anything else, it'll be a spoiler lol love y'all to death!!! my readers are my babies, my lil angels… I truly freaking love you guys so much!!! 🫀⚘

Not proofread.

Chapter 5

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

I can see you standing, honey, with his arms around your body

Laughin', but the joke's not funny at all

(...)

I can see you staring, honey, like he's just your understudy

Like you'd get your knuckles bloody for me

Second, third, and hundredth chances

Balancin' on breaking branches

Those eyes add insult to injury 

exile (Taylor Swift, Bon Iver)

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

The air was thick and chaotic at the Olo'eyktan's hut that morning. Everyone seemed to be a bit too restless, either getting ready to go show up to their duties to the clan, like Neytiri, or thinking about some personal struggle, like Kiri, who was lost in thought, looking a bit sad. But she was also mixing some herbs and flowers, preparing a thick, violet colored substance that was used to treat wounds, that she would later give to Neytiri. Kiri would always help Neytiri a lot, assisting her in her Tsahìk position in the Omatikaya clan.

But Neteyam still stood out among the whole family. He was unmistakably grumpy that morning, Lo’ak noticed, as he was - once again - watching the weird way his older brother was behaving. Neteyam was not being his usual calm and caring self. He was not trying to take care of everyone, not giving out smiles and trying to cheer his siblings up. He was even distracted when Jake was giving him instructions about how today's training would go and giving him other orders, like telling him to keep an eye on Tuk whenever he's able to, as she was growing and becoming even smarter, more energetic and mischievous and was starting to get into more trouble, sometimes even picking fights with other girls in the clan, becoming a bit too much like Lo'ak, which had been making Jake rub the sides of his forehead in worry lately, way more often than he liked to admit.

"The Mighty Warrior, distracted when dad is telling him what to do?! What the fuck is happening?!" Lo'ak thought. Something was very wrong. And Lo’ak was determined to find out what it was.

Neteyam sat with his legs slightly open, his hands were crossed, his elbows resting on his knees. He had a lost stare in his eyes, gazing at the nothingness, looking like he was mad at someone who had just maybe punched him in the face.

He did not know how to deal with it all, that turmoil of emotions you were causing inside him felt overwhelming to the Sullys first born. He had taken on just so many challenges throughout his life and conquered most of them, but he feared you were gonna be a war that he might lose. He had to admit it bruised his ego. Suddenly, he did not feel like such a Mighty Warrior after all. An adversary that most people would judge as a weak one compared to him, a mere human girl, so small in comparison to his size, was defeating him. Suddenly all his skills with bows, arrows, big knives and even big, intimidating shotguns were not enough.

And Neteyam felt lost. He did not know what to do. For the first time in his life, his rational and smart brain could not seem to produce a war strategy that could help him win. Win you. He felt just like a wounded warrior, bleeding on the floor.

༊⁀➷

You decided to finally answer Derek’s messages today, after ghosting him for a while. You were feeling weird and lonely. And shaken. God, still so shaken... What the hell happened last night? Did that really happen? Was it all just a dream? You could swear those words Neteyam Suli had given you, about how he was in love with you, that his hauntingly tall and broad figure, vulnerable, kneeling on the ground in front of you, telling you he could tell you desired him too, had all been just part of a weird, eerie, anxious, borderline wet dream.

You knew very well what you were doing to Derek. You were using him to forget about the mess Neteyam was making of you. You knew that was wrong and you did feel guilty and ashamed. But you also knew you had to step back into your old reality, into that familiar world, into your comfort zone, a place where there were only regular human guys interested in you, not that current unsettling reality you were living in - you could still swear it had all just been a dream. Or a nightmare, perhaps. You were not sure -, where there was an almost 10 feet tall alien boy pursuing you, declaring his love and his nearly inappropriate desire for you, talking about the intimate parts of your body in a way that made you uncomfortable, anxious but... that lured you in too, at the same time. You needed an escape from it all. Your already disturbed mind did not seem able to deal with those facts at that moment and Derek seemed like the perfect distraction. 

Damn, what had you become? That was not ethical or moral at all - using a human being like a tool to distract you from your conflicting emotions - but you did not seem to be capable of caring too much about being ethical or moral at that time. Your whole perception of the world seemed to be changing. You felt bedazzled and unsteady. You did not want to admit to yourself that you were starting to feel too much for Neteyam, that you were running away from your feelings like a thief runs away with an expensive item he just robbed. No, you were not in love with him. How could that even be? Everybody knew the na’vi don’t get romantically involved with humans. Your races were more like enemies than buddies. There were only a few humans who were loyal to the na'vi and maintained a somewhat close relationship with them, but never a romantic one. What was making you and Neteyam feel like that for each other? That could only bring problems and you sure as hell did not want more trouble in your already complicated life.

You would be better off sticking to a human male instead. It was safe and familiar. It did not make your anxiety skyrocket. But it also did not excite you a single bit. Derek caused you nothing. You could barely even feel actually turned on when he touched your body and kissed your lips. It was just like he was a habit you had gotten used to, making out with him here and there, to numb the pain you felt inside your heart almost all the time. His biggest efforts to make you wet never seemed to work. Meanwhile, Neteyam got you wet without having ever touched you. That sure spoke loud enough. 

So why were you rejecting Neteyam and going after Derek?

Maybe you felt too afraid to take a risk, to follow your heart. God knows following that damn reddish muscular organ had put you in the worst situations possible in the past. You felt numb but you felt safe. And safe felt good. Bearable, at least. You were afraid if you gave into what you felt for Neteyam you just might explode. The feelings were that strong. You did not know what to do to try and ignore that tiny but extremely annoying creature inside your brain that would always be whispering “What if something actually good came out of it? Take a risk. For once in your life, don’t play it safe.”

But you were choosing to play it safe, anyway. At least this afternoon. You were gonna meet Derek, after two weeks without doing so, and just hang out, eat junk food, drink some alcohol and talk about non important things, just laugh and be silly, like you two always used to do. He was a good friend. Too bad he never made any type of fire light up inside of you, not even in the very beginning of your rendezvous, that’s why you never got to have sex with him. You were simply not interested. At all, to be honest. You wondered why you still insisted on being physically intimate with him. There were many things in your life that you did and did not really think too much about. They were just pure routine, they just kinda happened and you let them, almost like you weren't really living your life, but only a mere spectator to the events that were happening to you. And it seemed like you felt too emotionally numb to put an end to them. Your involvement with Derek was one of those things. He started to flirt with you one day, you were bored and you thought "why not?" and now, months later, you were still caught in this situation. If anyone asked you if there was any other reason why you were gonna see Derek today other than to try and get Neteyam out of your mind, you honestly couldn't say there was. It was crystal clear to you that, even though you were fighting like crazy to deny your feelings for Neteyam, you were indeed falling for him.

But how could that be? Some days ago, he was only an Omatikaya famous warrior - and, oh, let's not forget, the next Olo'eyktan of their clan - that you had only heard people talk about.

༊⁀➷

Neteyam was up in one of the highest tree branches he could find that day. He did not want anybody to see him, as usual, but he also did not want you to know he was watching you, either. He knew you were now aware of his constant presence around you. He knew you were not oblivious to his love anymore.

The sun was harassing his eyes, so he put his hand over them and squinted hard to try and see if the guy next to you, in the laboratory’s cafeteria, was really who he thought it was. When his eyes could get a better view, once the sun was not bothering them so much anymore, he felt something sinking in his stomach and his heartbeat accelerated considerably.

He had just confirmed who the guy was. It was that disgusting little human male that liked to act like you were his mate. Neteyam hissed ferociously, his protruding na’vi fangs looking scarier than ever, as his wide feline eyes watched Derek leaning close to your face and kissing your lips. Neteyam wanted to die - or maybe kill Derek - when he noticed you kissed him back.

༊⁀➷

You forced a smile while looking at Derek, after you had the initiative to break that damn kiss who seemed to never end. He seemed satisfied with the fact that you two had just kissed, contrary to what you were feeling. You honestly felt like you wanted to throw up. All you could think about was how it would feel to kiss Neteyam, to smell his scent again, that was so abundantly different from what you were used to, but that fact only seemed to make you want him even more.

You looked away to try and forget the ridiculous mistake you were making by being with Derek at that moment. You were looking at the ground and your gaze moved upwards. Now your eyes were directed towards the outside of the lab. What you saw startled you beyond reason. Neteyam was squatting, up in the branches of a huge tree, not too close but not too far from the part of the laboratory you and Derek were currently in. His fangs were out, seeming bigger than ever, as he hissed ferociously. Neteyam's animalistic side had completely taken over him and you could tell.

A chill ran down your spine. You could feel in your guts something bad was about to happen.

Your heart throbbed in pain as you saw how hurt he was now that he had seen you kissing Derek, even after he - Neteyam - had confessed his feelings for you in such a vulnerable way last eclipse. You saw in his eyes how betrayed he felt, like you were just silently telling him that his love did not matter at all to you and you'd rather be with any other guy but him.

༊⁀➷

"Hey, I'm going outside for a while, 'kay?" Derek spoke as he got up from the place he had been sitting, beside you, kissing your cheek "The boys are gonna meet me behind the lab in a while. "

Oh, no. Derek would not be safe if he went outside. Not with Neteyam spilling hate for him out of his soul like that. You had to try and find a way to keep Derek inside.

"Oh." You said, not being able to conceal your nervousness "Why don't you wait for them to actually get there before you go?!" You almost begged, visibly tense

"God, you seem nervous." He chuckled slightly, seeming uncomfortable " Is everything alright?"

"Yeah! I just want you to spend some more time with me." You pouted at him, coming up with an excuse to try and keep Derek from going out of the lab

"Sorry, sugar. It was nice hanging out and stuff but I really need to go now." He was already walking fast towards the door before you could try and talk him out of that stupid idea

You couldn't let any of the people in that cafeteria know something was up, so, you pretended everything was alright and finished eating your chips and took the last sip of your canned whisky and coke and stood up, walking slowly (when you actually wanted to freaking run) in the direction of the lab's metal door that led to outside.

You put your oxygen mask on, took a deep breath and walked out the door. 

You heard a noise, it was like a really heavy object falling to the floor. You also heard some strong thuds.

When you started to walk around to try and see what was happening, you realized your fear had become reality. Neteyam was sitting on top of Derek’s squirming body, his toned, striped thighs straddling Derek’s torax. You gasped when you realized Derek was no longer wearing his oxygen mask and Neteyam's huge hand was over Derek's mouth, preventing him from screaming for help. Neteyam looked at him like a hunter looks at their prey, while his big fangs and loud hisses put fear in the human boy's eyes. Derek was completely terrified.

Your heart beat sped up insanely and your hands were now cold as ice. You were afraid for Derek’s life.

You knew that the way Neteyam was taking out his frustration and jealousy on Derek was indescribably far from okay but still, as cruel to Derek as it seemed, you still felt incredibly sorry for the Omatikaya in front of you.

At the end of the day, you had a big percentage of blame for what he was doing right now. You were confused and afraid and torn but you knew to whom your heart belonged and it was not Derek. So why the hell were you being so selfish to the point of hurting two boys at the same time just because you didn't know how to deal with your own feelings? You realized it was time for you to stop being a coward and put an end to that madness.

You could tell Neteyam was not okay mentally and you knew that you were being toxic too, that you were contributing for his mental state to get worse with your indecisiveness and fear, despite his efforts to show you he would never hurt you. You wanted to stop hurting him and help him instead, to finally let go and admit to yourself and to him that yes, despite the way you had been acting, you were in love with him too.

"Neteyam, don't!! Let him go, please!!" You shouted, running towards the human and the na'vi boy.

You finally got close to Neteyam. He stopped and looked at you, his eyes so fiery, the calm golden pools they always used to be were now boiling with feelings of anger, jealousy, hurt and betrayal.

"For me! Please?" You pleaded him, looking deep into his eyes while stroking his strong blue arm

You watched that beast inside of Neteyam slowly calm down, as his feline ears pointed downwards and his eyes became softer. He moved his hand away from Derek’s mouth and the human boy let out a series of labored breaths. Neteyam slowly got off of him, revealing his beyond intimidating height as he stood up, and stepped away from him.

You walked as fast as you could to where Derek's oxygen mask was laying on the floor and picked it up, checking if was broken (it wasn't! Thank you, Universe.) and went back to where he was lying down and gave it back to him.

Neteyam watched your movements and felt jealous when you got close to Derek, so, once you got back to the place where you were standing before, Neteyam stood right next to your arm. His instincts told him to mark his territory.

Derek swiftly put it back on. He was almost completely out of breath. Derek breathed in deep once the mask was covering his face, taking in all the oxygen he possibly could.

"Are you okay?" You looked down at Derek’s body, searching for any visible wounds. There were none, at best. "God, I'm so sorry about this…"

"Yeah, I'm fine, somehow." Derek seemed afraid, shocked, frustrated and angry, all simultaneously, as he got off the floor and got back on his feet

"Please, don't tell anyone that you saw Neteyam or that he tried to hurt you, okay?"

"What the fuck?!! This psycho almost tried to kill me!! Why are you defending him?!"

Neteyam hissed at him when he heard what he had just called him but you squeezed his arm and he looked at you, remembering your pleas were the thing that were keeping him from killing that small, pink male. Even though it hurt him deeply that you were protecting that human, he couldn't bring himself to ignore you when you were begging him not to hurt Derek. You had Neteyam in the palm of your hand.

"You don't understand! If you let anyone in that lab know what Neteyam did to you, the RDA will eventually know about it too! Do you understand how serious this is? Do you wanna see Neteyam dead?!" You urged him, looking deep into his eyes "You could even help start another war between the humans and the na'vi. Do you understand that it is a much bigger issue than it seems to be? Just forget about what happened and I'll make sure Neteyam won't ever try to hurt you again."

Derek smirked in contempt 

"How can you be so sure he will listen to you?"

"I know he will! He loves me. And… I love him too."

Derek’s face had a big question mark all over it now and his mouth fell open.

Neteyam seemed to be shocked for a while. He did not expect you to say that, at all. He thought you would never love him back. Neteyam couldn't seem to believe those words had actually just come out of your mouth.

You breathed in deep, trying to stay calm amidst all that chaos "This thing between us…" You looked at Derek "It's over. I don't know why I was still insisting on it, I never even felt attracted to you, in the first place. I'm sorry."

"I'm outta here! All of this shit that's going on… feels like a fucking nightmare"

"Can you do as I said and not tell anyone about Neteyam? Nobody, ever? Please?!" You were nervous, brows furrowed, talking fast

"Okay!! Just let me go now! I think it's better if you and I keep some distance from each other from now on. I don't want your crazy na'vi boyfriend trying to kill me again." 

Neteyam hissed at Derek again when he heard the word "crazy" and Derek rapidly looked at him, startled, but couldn't be brave enough to spend more than some seconds staring at him, so, he swiftly looked away 

"Neteyam, please!! He's going already." You looked at Neteyam, a bit angry and impatient, asking him to calm down "Just go, Derek." You spit out and sighed, feeling physically and mentally drained after having to stop that stupid fight

Derek finally turned his back to you and Neteyam and left.

You looked at Neteyam. His eyes were glued on you. Those pretty amber eyes. His face wasn't full of hatred and anger anymore. His demeanor was much calmer now. His body language radiated love towards you. His tail was wagging softly. You felt pain and regret consuming your chest. How could you have treated Neteyam so badly last night? You realized now you couldn't hold him to the same standards you hold human males. The na'vi are animalistic beings, in spite of their high intelligence. And worse, how could you be irresponsible enough to kiss Derek even not actually wanting to, making Neteyam see it and get as hurt as he did? You sure were being trashy.

"My tawtute…" he cooed as he turned to look in your eyes "I won't let you run away from me anymore." Neteyam had a big smile on his lips "I don't care if you try to. That's all I needed to hear, that you love me. Now that you've said it, even if you didn't say it directly to me, I'm gonna fight for you even harder, even if you keep trying to push me away, I will keep bothering you." He kept smiling, blissful "You're like an Ikran. I just need to be patient with you. Eventually, I'll tame you and you'll be mine. All mine, hi'ì 'emyu." (small cook) "Bonded to me through tsaheylu. I can be patient and I will be."

You could only look at him, stare at his face and ask yourself why. Why was he willing to put so much work into making you his mate? 

"I'm not gonna run away from you anymore." You finally said "I'm done running. I'm done keeping myself miserable and alone because I'm too afraid to trust you and let you in. While trying to keep myself "safe", I was hurting myself and hurting you. I'm not doing that anymore, Neteyam. I was so stupid… I can't really say what it is, but there's just something about you… I think about you all the time, since the first time I saw you when you appeared for me outside that window. I don't believe someone can fall in love so fast but…" You were about to burst into tears "I'm in love with you."

Neteyam looked at you with the biggest smile on his plump lips, while his heart beat uncommonly fast inside his chest. He was overwhelmed with joy but as he was seeing the tears welling up in your eyes, he felt like he was about to cry too. But he didn't. Having learned throughout his whole life to always act with self control and rationality in front of everyone, - not really by choice, but because he knew that was how the Olo'eyktan to be should act, to keep a good reputation, to let his people know he was strong enough to control his emotions and not let them get in the way of him making good decisions for the Omatikaya - his ability to show some aspects of his feelings was a bit impaired now and that included crying. Even though he almost cried in front of you when you rejected him, he couldn't bring himself to cry of joy, now that you were saying that you wanna be with him too.

"I'm sorry for… what you saw. Me and Derek. I never liked him, Neteyam. He was just-"

"Yawne, no." Neteyam interrupted " It's okay. I don't wanna hear about that human." He looked disgusted only by the thought of Derek "And I don’t want you thinking about him either. You're mine now. Just forget about him. It's me that you like, right?" He gave you a gentle smile now and you nodded your head positively "Then focus on me, yawntutsyìp."

You looked at him, shyly, and smiled

"So… Can I ask for a hug, now?" your heart beat fast inside your chest cavity as you nervously said that

"Oeyä tawtute…" (my human) "You don't even need to ask." He opened his big, strong arms as he spoke "Come here."

༊⁀➷

Taglist: @kitsunefirewail @tumblingdevils @a-blog-name-2003 @xylobee @nerdybouquetofkittens-blog @henhouse-horrors @lala-1516 @xylianasblog @samistars @crazy4books1 @explosiongamora @lik0 @your-girl-mj @darktyrantwinner @sereisstuff @yeosxxx @die4niyahhh @iman-lu @manumanulau @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @hana-yuri @thehoneymushroomhealer @melllinaa @annaibansworld @siriuslysmoking @avatar4eva @ellabellabus07 @badbishsblog @neteyamsmate4life @c-h-i-l @criticallybella

[starryredpandawrites]

“Big Brother Bendy” Ch. 3 Sneak Peek

Hey fam!

Quick update, I’m moving out of my apartment this weekend so I won’t be able to update either of my fics this week. I would apologize but I’m trying to break my habit of apologizing for unnecessary things (especially stuff that’s out of my control). Instead, I will thank you all for your patience! 

So, thank you for your patience with me, especially those who have been waiting for my Big Brother Bendy fic to update for the last month 😬 I promised y’all at least a sneak peek so here it is! 

Enjoy!

Bouncing up and down in place, the little devil darlin’ whistled his theme song with his hands covering his eyes. He could hardly contain his excitement, eager to show off his professional Hide & Seek skills to his big brother. 

Once he reached the end of the song, Bendy dropped his hands and turned around, searching the playground for Inky.

Nothing. 

Bounding over to a play structure, the little devil ducked underneath it to see if it was hiding Inky’s lanky form. It wasn’t.

A quick glance at the slide verified that the Ink Demon wasn’t under there either. 

Next, Bendy checked the piles of broken machinery and other junk littering the room. There weren’t any other places to hide in the playground, so Inky had to be around one of those, right?

Wrong. The toon searched and searched, even rummaging through some of the piles after suspecting Inky buried himself under the debris. 

After several minutes of fruitless investigation, he noticed a trail of ink on the ground. 

Bendy face-palmed. Of course Inky would leave an ink trail! He leaves one everywhere. 

Despite the hint of guilt weighing his shoulders for possibly cheating, the toon followed the trail, having run out of any other options. 

However, he failed to consider that amount of time that had passed since the game began. By now the Ink Demon’s trail should have disappeared on its own, but he was too eager to find him to consider that important fact. 

The line of puddles led down a short hallway with a single door at its end. 

Tiptoeing forward, Bendy followed the trail until he reached the end of the hallway. The ink pooled underneath the door and he crouched down, using a single finger to poke the small puddle. He rubbed the ink between his fingers. Still wet.

With a silent giggle, the toon stealthily grasped the doorknob, turning it so gently it didn’t make a sound. He was going to give Inky the biggest scare!

Whipping the door open, Bendy raised his arms in what he thought was an intimidating pose, only to be greeted by rows and rows of bacon soup. 

His arms fell to the ground like deflated balloons. 

After closing the soup closet, he opened it again, half-hoping that Inky would magically appear.

He didn’t and the toon shut the door again, puzzled. 

Something tapped his shoulder.

Whirling around, Bendy searched for the source of the tap but found nothing. Just an empty hallway. There was another gentle tap on his other shoulder and he spun around again, determined to catch the perpetrator. 

The soup closet door stared back at him mockingly and the toon opened it for the third time, believing that Inky had to be behind it now.

Again, there was nothing except for cans of bacon soup. 

Where else could he be?

A single drop of mystery liquid dripped onto his head. Bendy instinctively wiped away the cool substance and glanced at his glove. It had a new ink stain. 

Bendy froze in place. He slowly looked up, dreading what he would see. 

Suspended against the ceiling, clawed hands stuck to the sides of the hallway for extra support, hung a familiar demon with a familiar grin. 

Squeaking in surprise, Bendy tried to bolt out of the area only to be snatched up, legs flailing wildly through the air. 

[sexwithamanda]

Dating, Dates, and Dealbreakers

Episode #143

It’s been a bit since I’ve been able to feel everything at once. Yesterday was the first time to truly understand what I’ve been going through. Mentally I have been through a rollercoaster of emotions about who I want to be and who I am becoming. In respect to all of the people in my life. Here is a little update with no context of names. 

One person I had a connection with, the first time I met them. No real substance, and I keep feeling that, they were sweet. I was another conquest that they had to get off their list. They told me their entire life story, comfortable with me, I think the biggest form of intimacy isn’t sex but it is to tell them who you are with your heart on your sleeve. This person was not over someone who they loved very dearly, no amount of time can tell you when you will finally wake up not thinking about them. 

The next one, knew them for a long time. They always wanted to reach out to me, met me for a day, introverted, as it is. Those are the ones that i am attracted to. The type that are mysterious but give you a part of themselves that you think they don’t show to others. They do. Particularly the ones that are like you, sunshine, absorbing all of that light you have to give everyone. Draining it on them who can’t promise you no part of who they are. Rejecting all of the true feelings that come with actually getting to know someones soul. They weren’t anything serious and I could never see them as such.

Then there is this one. The one unexpected person, is it true? I don’t feel like you want to hurt at me all. But, you have some aspects to you that make me worry. Road rage, cursing with no remorse, and consist back and forth. I’ve heard this narrative before. Then the similar type of aspect of not caring comes into play. “I don’t care.” But you claim to care for me but for not others. I feel conflicted.

Lastly, a developing breaking news is my friend. They are kind, sweet, and going through a situation that I’ve been through before. I don’t know what to tell you, I feel safe with them, they haven’t been my friend for too long but emotionally I feel connected to them. I can’t ruin this friendship. I know that they are counting on me to be there for support. The only bad part is that we held hands, laid together. Platonically as it might be, we crossed a line. We shared music together. Drank together. It is all to help each other feel something better. I’ve heard this same narrative again. I find myself wanting to help but I feel like I might have to not speak to them. 

In the back of my mind I know that this is too much, I am overwhelmed because I haven’t forgiven the person who hurt me. I need to. They were one of the few people in this world where I knew that they should always be in my life but it keeps hurting me. 24/7 words are bullets are coming across and now they are begging for forgiveness. I forgive them. I thank them for all the help they’ve been giving me. I am so sad, so sorry, and most of all I wish I could not think about how unsafe I feel with them. I can’t like my life without them in it, but it feels like that it’s healthier. I forgive them, I want them to be better. 

Is this what it’s like? All I want is myself. I broke up with my ex because they were not able to give me the attention I deserved. I wanted them to plan things with me. I wanted to feel wanted. I want myself, my happiness, my love, my heart. I need it for myself. I don’t miss worrying about them taking the time to care for me. I don’t want to be smiling like an idiot at my phone. I want to be happy about things that only matter to me. 

I like to be by myself. I set up boundaries for myself. I forgive myself the most for allowing myself to be treated like this. I don’t want you.

The first and second one let me down. Not the type of love I need, platonic, kind, only the type of friend is one. But, nothing memorable to have.

Next, I am getting to know you.

Present, I know you, but I can’t cross another line. We won’t go back, and I don’t want you.

Now, I’ve expressed my entire love to you. I forgive you most of all. I made up my mind not to be trapped in that situation with you. I chose you always. Now, grow without me. 

Is it possible that we are avoiding who we are when we reflect on the relationships we have in our lives. I admire my past lovers. I admire my past friendships that ended. 

I got a message once that said “I can’t believe we are over, and I see i am blocked so I know that you don’t want me in your life anymore.”

If I saw you in person, I’d say hello. but nothing would matter as much anymore. You are someone I don’t want to know. I want you to succeed but not with me. 

I love so hard. I fall so hard, and I try to give every piece of who I am to them. They don’t deserve it. Ever.

I am tired of not putting everything into me. I need to.

Mahal Kita

-Amanda 

[twistedcharismaaa]

Menace Pt. 3

Summary:  A supernatural journey starring Masego (Micah Davis) and Tanerélle (Velvet).

Author’s Note: Hey guysssss! I hope you’re doing well as always! I’m back with another update! I’m not gonna lie, it’s long - but it’s a fun read.. (I hope) ! Anyways let me stop rambling! I love you guys and I appreciate you all so much! Don’t forget to leave a comment for ya girl! You know I live for the commentary! Enjoy!!!

Once more, Masego flashed a roguish grin towards Velvet before parting ways with her. Before her very eyes, he disappeared into thin air. Unknowingly to Velvet, he was halfway around the world within seconds. Due to her unruly frenzy at his establishment, he had to make a personal visit and discuss business. But more importantly, he had to be the bearer of bad news first. He had to explain to Lilah that three of her most promising witches had been killed. Lilah was a rare breed literally and figuratively speaking. She had fae blood and witch blood flowing through her veins. She was one of the most enchanted beings that Masego had ever encountered. With a blink of an eye, he teleported into Lilah’s club. He was greeted with hundreds of sweaty bodies moving vigorously under flashing lights. Dancehall music filled his ears instantly and echoed throughout the building. His eyes darted upwards to the balcony where he spotted Lilah sitting like a queen. She was dressed in white and her body was covered in gold jewelry. Her white wings weren’t visible at the moment. That was a good thing. Masego ran his fingertips around the hem of his suit jacket and readjusted it casually. As he readjusted his jacket, the colors of his suit began to change colors. The blue hue of his suit shifted into a bright blood red as he journeyed towards Lilah’s throne. She always enjoyed him in red.

Treading lightly, he approached her with a charming smile resting on his lips.

“Lilah!” Masego said in a cheery tone with his hands outstretched towards her.

“Cut the shit,” Lilah, retorted as she causally put out her smoke. “You either have really bad news for me or either really good news. It better be the latter,” she added, as she pointed her index finger at him.

Masego nodded as if he was impressed and sat in the empty chair beside her. 

“I’m here to offer my sincerest condolences,” he answered earnestly, as he fixated his eyes on hers. 

“Condolences?” she repeated with furrowed brows. 

Masego watched Lilah uncross her legs and lean forward in her chair.

“Three of your witches are dead. They-”

Before Masego could finish his sentence. He felt blood dripping from his face. He gently touched the wound with his fingertips and stared at Lilah silently. His nose flared and his breathing became heavy. Lilah silently unveiled her wings and flapped them rapidly. They stretched far and wide and her feathers resembled the feathers of a dove. Her wings were every bit as vicious as she was. As Masego spoke, she commanded one of her feathers to detach. As the feather detached from her wing, it transformed into a substance that was sharper than glass. It slashed his face and he bled profusely. Believe it or not, this was her showing mercy. As pissed off as Masego was, he could understand her anger. Her witches were her creations. She instilled the very best of her into them. She took care of them like children.

“Explain,” she whispered.

Masego inhaled deeply, licked his lips, and nodded in compliance.

“They died at my club by the hands of a vampire,” he admitted.

Lilah froze and stared at Masego with such disdain. 

“You mean to tell me, you couldn’t handle one fucking vampire?” she questioned.

“She’s not your typical vampire. She’s..” Masego paused and looked around the room as if he was searching for the right words to say.

“She’s something I’ve never seen before,” he added.

Immediately Lilah charged at Masego and grabbed his hand. She focused intensely. She was searching his mind for the truth. Naturally, he resisted. Lilah tightened her grip on his hand and penetrated his thoughts further. Reluctantly, Masego let down his guard. He thought that was the least he could do. After Lilah witnessed the devastation that Velvet caused, tears welled in her eyes. She felt a lump in her throat that made it hard to swallow. Slowly, she released Masego’s palm and backed away from him.

“I can resurrect them,” Masego assured.

“How? The magic is dying,” Lilah retorted.

Masego stood to his feet and approached Lilah timidly. 

“Velvet is in debt to me and I’m in debt to you. The plan is still in the works. I will resurrect your people,” he answered. “We’re going to resurrect them all. Just like we planned to do,” he continued.

Lilah opened her mouth to speak but before she could utter a word, she heard gunshots and screams of terror echo throughout the club. Quickly, she ran towards the balcony and placed her hands on the railings. Her eyes searched incessantly for the culprit. She watched bodies collapse and dissipate before her very eyes. Her guardsmen and women fled to the scene. She watched them jump off the balcony using their various gifts to protect herself and others. Masego rushed to her side and pointed out the leader.

“There!” he yelled.

Lilah’s eyes locked in on the valiant stranger. He stood in the middle of the club surrounding himself in the heart of the chaos with a sinister smile resting on his lips. He inhaled deeply and relished in the bloodshed. It was almost as if he was drawing strength from it. His smile was wide - his fangs were dipped in diamonds and glimmered under the strobe lights. He licked his lips as if he was hungry and stared at Lilah tauntingly.

“Little witch! Come and play!” the man screamed before cocking his head to the right.

Within seconds, with one flap of Lilah’s wings, she killed 7 of his henchmen. She took off flying immediately after. She conjured the great light of the heavens and struck him with a fiery lightning bolt. Lilah watched the man teeter backward as she landed on her feet. Using her wings, her agility, and her magic she fought him with everything she had.

Before Masego could take a step to help. He felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Not so fast, Daddy-o,” the woman, whispered before stabbing her blade into his stomach. 

“Motherfu-” Masego said as he winced in pain.

Mercilessly, the woman pulled the blade from his flesh with a wicked-toothy grin. The blade was coated with his blood and with another substance. The substance appeared to be a poison. Most likely the cause of why all the mystical beings in Lilah’s club were dying left and right. Masego eyed the poison in confusion. It was lime green and sticky. He removed his hand from his wound and stared the woman in the eye with sheer rage. Masego assumed her to be an average vampire following her master’s instructions mindlessly. With hysterical laughter, the woman charged at him again. But to her surprise, she missed. She expected Masego to be powerless and weak - an easy kill if you will. He was everything but that. Masego appeared behind her and whispered in her ear.

“You’re probably wondering why the poison didn’t work. Aren’t you?” he quizzed.

With inhumane speed, the woman turned around and hissed in his face. Using his powers, Masego placed a spell on her physique that would freeze her in place. To his advantage, he froze her mid-strike. 

“I’ve had quite the day, as much as I would love to take my frustrations out on you. I don’t have time for that right now,” he spoke. 

Looking her in her helpless eyes, Masego placed his hand on her forehead and pressed against it. He pushed her down toward the floor until she physically shrunk into the size of an ant.  As she shrank the blade fell out of her hand. He conjured a mason jar and placed her in it. He set the jar on a random table and said.

“You’ll be answering to me later,”

Quickly, Masego grabbed the blade that fell to the floor and quietly chanted into it. Specifically, he casted a spell on the lime green poison. He wanted to strip the toxic matter of its potency. And he did. He was even able to reverse who would be affected by the toxin. Once the spell was complete, he waved his hand around so that all of the poison in the club would bend to his will. Now the toxin will only harm the vampires that intend to harm mystical beings.

Using his peripheral vision, he saw vampires storming toward him from the right and others from his left. He remained still. He dabbed all ten of his fingers into the toxin and flexed his fingers outward. Instantaneously, the substance flew from his fingers striking all of his opponents. They evaporated before him.

“Mhm, Nigga,” he responded, confidently. 

“M-Masego!” he heard Lilah cry from below. 

Masego noticed the ravenous vampire had his hands around Lilah’s throat. He was slowly choking the life out of her. Quickly, Masego fled to the scene. With one snap of his fingers, he appeared in front of the monstrous vampire. 

“Ohhh, you think little Slim Jim gon’ save you mama?” the man teased, before applying more pressure to her throat.

Lilah tried to claw her way out of his grasp. She scratched and slapped him repeatedly. Unfortunately, Masego did not reverse the poison in time. As Masego was battling above he didn’t realize that the vampire shoved the original toxin down Lilah’s throat. She was weak very weak. She was dying.

With outstretched hands, Masego used every ounce of his abilities. He forcefully opened the vampire’s mouth and pulled the very breath out of him. The vampire released Lilah from his clutches as he stumbled backward gasping for running breath. Lilah fell to her knees and placed her hand on her neck as she panted repeatedly. Masego magically gathered all the poison that was in the club and threw it on the vampire. He watched the vampire’s skin shrivel and burn - but strangely it did not kill him.

“What the fuck!” Masego screamed in frustration.

“The-the poison doesn’t work on him. He-He’s like her,” Lilah screamed with what was left of her voice.

Masego’s eyes widened with fear. He realized that he was no match for him. No enchanted being was. They needed her. They needed Velvet.

“Fuck!” Masego screamed again, feeling himself grow tired.

Pulling on the strength of the moon, Masego summoned Velvet as he continued to defend himself. His face beaded with sweat and his breath became heavy. As he did this, he opened another portal that sucked Lilah into it. He sent her to safety. Within minutes, that felt like hours, Velvet walked through the portal. As soon as she walked through the portal, Masego collapsed. He expelled so much magic. The vampire caught his breath and wiped the toxin off of his face and arms as if he was disgusted.

“What is going on?” Velvet quizzed, completely confused by the chaos.

“What it look like?!” Masego responded, sarcastically. Clearly stressed.

Velvet looked around at all of the destruction before her eyes landed on the author of it all.

“Well, well, well, it looks like the fun is just beginning,” the man spoke.

—------

Part 2. Part 4

@ghostfacekill-monger @chaneajoyyy @l-auteuse

@sheabuttahwrites @brwn-recluse @19jammmy

@isisafrofairy @blackburnbook @neeville @nelleana

@theboldlady @geriixox @errin261 @mooon-berry

@just-juicee @teardropzih @highasfantasy

@savagescorpion @xxariaxxaxx

@themajesticnigerian @miyahmaraj

@theholytrinity @theconsciousrebel

@squigglyemotions

@theycallmechanty @sataband0 @gbdinfinitedrill

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Welcome To The Pack: To Wakanda

Summary- 7k. Steve Rogers x You. You have been injected with an unknown substance, going into a coma like state and your wolf is unable to be found by the Alpha. Bruce is also at a loss, but there may be someone who can help. Warnings- Smut, use of needles, implied bad stuff from Brock, etc etc. 

A/N- Thank you so much for the love given from everyone for this series. And also being patient with me while my internet is currently being a pain in the ass. Hope you all enjoy this chapter. Much Love always. 

A/N 2- feedback is welcome, I really do love hearing what you all think, and ways to improve. 

 Chapter 6 / Pack Masterlist

Tony had a migraine from hell, he was sitting at his desk, his head pounding for some unknown reason. 

<You do know though.> The Wolf sauntered to him, licking his jaws and arching his neck in a stretch. <Ross is breathing down your neck, Clint took off with a jet for an unknown reason, and you haven’t run with your mate in over a week. You should go to Pepper, and retire to Central Park for the day. Or leave the city. That would be even better.>

Tony sighed as he leaned back forward, rubbing at his temple as he opened the drawer and pulled out some painkillers for there kind. A headache required more than the human use of pain relievers. Shaking out a couple of tablets, he popped them, and his Wolf sighed as it pushed to a stand, shaking out his sleek fur and retreated further into Tony’s mind. 

I know your right… I miss Pepper. 

<Well she’s just a few floors down.> The Wolf snarked over his shoulder before leaping further from Tony’s current conscious. Tony pissed him off, he knew that. About to push from his desk to go see his mate, the beast wasn’t wrong in that. Or any of it. It had been too long, just before the went to Steve’s pack, since they redid their bonds, reaffirmed the strength of there mating and the bites, his body ached for hers. Immensely. The migraine resounded in his temples as a reminder.  

It was then Friday buzzed online, making an announcement. ‘Boss, A unauthorized jet approaches.’ And Tony growled even louder this time. “Is it Barton with my jet? It better be.” 

‘Yes, Sir. I’m patching him through right now.’ There was a moment of silence, then a whoosh sound. “Barton? Why the fuck you take my jet? It better be in one piece.” Tony said loud enough for it to go through, and he could hear Barton chuckle on the other end. 

“Nat called me that there was some trouble going down Stark. You out of anyone know that I’m going to go if my Alpha needs me.” Tony snorted, although he knew it was true. Rogers probably didn’t know just how deep his packs loyalties lay for him. Barton’s voice broke through again, following Tony as he left the office and headed up to the top of the tower. “Steve’s with me, as well as Bucky, Natasha, and Y/N. Y/N is in bad shape, Tony. Steve needs your help.” 

Tony stalled his strides, just before he approached the elevators, frowning. The Alpha of the Mountain Pack needed help? That had never happened. “Care to repeat that Barton?” 

“Tony? It’s Steve.” The Alphas voice came over, and Tony couldn’t lie, it sounded strained. “Y/N was shot with a dart, she was in immense pain, claimed she couldn’t feel her wolf, and now she won’t wake up.” Even Tony’s Wolf came striding back to the more conscious part of his mind, the Alpha pinning his ears back in distress at the other Mans admission. “I don’t know anywhere else that might have the capability to help her.” 

Tony punched the button to the elevator, and instead of going up to meet them, he was going to the next level. “Bring her to Bruce’s Lab, Barton and Nat know where it is. I will meet you down there.” Once the doors opened, he stepped on, and the door swiftly shut behind him, descending. 

Barton landed the jet, and opened the hatch, shutting off all the switches in quick maneuvers. Steve collected You, pressing you protectively against his chest as he followed Natasha out of the jet, and she got them into the towers once she hit her security code. Steve’s face melded from worried to calm, collected. He was in another Alphas territory, and any sign of stress from him could invite a challenge from another wolf. His fingers though, they pressed into your skin, his heart thudded in his chest, aching with every beat, constantly seeking you, and now that he could feel you against him, his breathing turned to match yours, the way his heart racing started to slow. Even in this state, you were his calm. Now if only he could bring you back to him. His Wolf was still howling for you, an echo constantly in his mind as he sought your Little Wolf. Even without the bond, he still could sense her when they were human. Now the Silver Wolf couldn’t, and it was breaking the Alpha. 

Once the doors opened, Tony and Bruce stood there, a hospital stretcher ready, but Steve brushed past it, not wanting to let you go. Bruce was about to say something, but Natasha rested her hand against his arm, giving a slight shake of her head. Steve was already close to snapping, its best not to push him. His words changed, tilting his head to the man. “This way, we have a room set up for her.” Pushing the stretcher to the side, they all followed along with Bruce, and came into a comfortable looking room. A large hospital bed was set up, and Steve was careful to set you down on the pristine white cotton sheets. Bruce waited patiently for Steve to settle next to his mate before he approached. Holding his hands up for the Alpha to see him, lowering his head a bit to show his neck. “I promise not to do any harm to your mate Alpha, but you have to trust me, okay. I have to examine her and that will require me touching her.” 

Steve Wolf growled, eyeing the man, and Steve to drew in Bruce’s scent, it was an intermingling of differences that shouldn’t exist in their society. But it did.

Bruce’s condition was well known, why he was loosely tied to Tonys Pack. Tony was one of the only packs that could help Bruce. The Man, he wasn’t an Alpha, gentle to the core, nothing more than a healer and had no drive to really be with a pack. His Wolf though, a Alpha through and through. And not just an Alpha, but a beast unnatural. He had been mutated through an accidental experiment, and it left Bruce almost unable to control him. Tony provided him with space, still in a pack, yet able to work on his own. Steve took all this information into account when he gave a gentle nod, giving him permission to handle you. That nod set Bruce into action, calling forth a nurse, and they worked around Steve, who wouldn’t leave your side, his hands enclosed around yours, keeping contact with yours. 

Come back to me Little One. 

     Bucky gathered the two panther cubs in his arms, the kittens have come around to him during the jet ride. One slept in the crook of one arm, the other perched on the White Wolf’s shoulder, squeaking in excitement at all that was going on. Barton followed him off, and they to enter the Tower, heading straight to Bruce’s lab. Once they exited the elevators, they caught sight of Natasha and Tony, looking through a window into a room, both men could hear Natasha filling Tony in on what had happened that night. Hearing them, Tony looked at gaffed a laugh at the sight. 

“Barnes looks like you got some stowaways.” Tony grinned, and Bucky shifted the sleeping kitten to his other arm. 

“Pierce, had them locked up, figured maybe you could get them back to there families?” Bucky asked hopefully, knowing that the Black Panthers didn’t typically reside in the northern forests of the eastern part of the states. 

“I don’t think that should be a problem,” Tony stated with a nod, his sight catching Pepper coming to join them, and as she approached, he held his arm out to her, and she slid into his side just where she always did, listening as he continued. “King T’Challa had actually contacted me about his missing Panthers a couple of weeks ago. He will be pleased to get back the children taken. Uh… you didn’t happen to see any adult panthers there?” 

Bucky gave a sorrowed shake of his head as the awake kitten perched on his shoulder wailed softly, and Pepper immediately crooned to him, holding out her arms for the kitten to leap into the woman’s arms, hiding against her for comfort. Tony cleared his throat, getting his answer. 

“These Cubs need to be fed, and allowed to shift back.” Pepper said softly as she stroked the distraught kitten fur. “I can take them to go shift, get a proper meal and rest while you all arrange the flight home for them.” she offered and Bucky nodded, handing the sleeping kitten over. She tilted to kiss Tony’s cheek before retreating with them, speaking softly. “Get to go home soon, how does that sound to you two?” A sounding high pitched meow reached the group’s ears. 

Turning to watch Bruce work on You, Bucky wasn’t surprised to see Steve right there, refusing to leave her side. “First off, what the fuck did he shoot Y/N with, and how did that son of a bitch get Panther cubs?” 

“That’s what Bruce is trying to find out now, and the panther cubs… I’m guessing someone smuggled them out of the country. Which means I have a King to contact. Natasha, you know this place, whenever Steve is ready, you can show him the live-in quarters, you to Barnes.” 

“Thanks, Stark” The White Wolf opened his hand to shake it, which was evenly matched before he turned away. Once they were alone, just Bucky, Clint, and Natasha, Bucky spoke up. “I can’t stay, Rumlow still has Cass. Now that Pierce is dead… I have to find her quickly.” 

Barton and Natasha looked at each other, knowing neither one of these Wolves could be left alone. 

“How about I come with you, Barnes? We can pick up where the trackers are now. This is what I’m trained to do.” Barton shrugged. “I also got transportation here for us, and Stark cant bitch about me taking it.” 

“And I will stay with Steve and Y/N, keep you updated on what is going on.” Natasha offered, knowing Barnes was hard-pressed to leave there Alpha. 

“Thank you two…” Barnes said softly, his gaze not breaking from the scene in the next room. 

     Steve was thrumming his thumb over your pulse, which was so calm, it was like you were sleeping. Bruce had drawn blood, had you hooked to monitors that beeped excessively. They were driving Steve and his Wolf nuts trying to make sense of what the numbers all meant. Luckily the scientist did, as well as the nurse assisting him, but neither said if it was good or bad, just an occasional ‘Hmm’ 

<Make them tell us Steve, I can’t handle this any longer. When is our Little One waking up, will she wake up? What is going on.>

Patience Beast. 

<I’m trying Steve> The Silver Wolf responded with a defeated sigh. 

“Alpha?” Bruce started but Steve immediately cut him off. 

“Please, its Steve.” He warily smiled, the adrenaline from the night had finally left him, the usually proud Alpha just look beat and tired now, sitting on the bed. 

“Steve, we’ve checked her over, and from what we can tell, she is okay. In the Human Sense. Her pressures are good, shes breathing, there is still functions of her brain. I have no fear that her body can’t function. From what I can tell… shes simply shut herself down from the trauma.  As far as her Wolf, we can’t find any trace of her in her system. None of the scans picked her up.” It was impossible to miss the whine that came from the Alpha and how his eyes clouded over a moment, but Bruce ignored it, continuing. “I might not be the man for this Steve, but… You said she was injected. I was able to isolate the compound in her bloodwork. Now I can’t be certain, but it seems to be biological. I don’t necessarily know for sure, but there is a plant that might be used for this kind of thing.” 

Steve’s head shot up, his eyes wide. “Where is it, and is there a cure Dr.Banner?” The Wolf perked up too, his ears straining to hear Bruce’s next words. 

“The plant only originates in one place, Wakanda. And Wakanda has one of the most brilliant scientific minds I know of. Her name is Shuri, the Kings sister. She would know more about the plants capabilities then I can begin to understand. They use it in a few rituals when appointing the new king. It diminishes there powers, sedates there beasts almost into a slumbering state so that they can prove that the person can lead their people as much as the animal.” Bruce witnessed Steve turning back to look at You, his eyes willing you to wake up, but there was no movement from you. “Would to much kill the animal you think Doctor?” 

“I really can’t say Steve, I simply don’t know enough about it. It’s not something we have here, and the Wakanda people guard their crops fiercely. I wouldn’t even begin to guess how someone would have gotten there hands on such a plant. Now with how strong Wakandas borders are.” 

“I have to talk to Tony about this, but I can’t leave her.” Steve drifted off, even though you were safe, he just couldn’t pry himself from you. Natasha knocked on the door and opened it gently. 

“Let me sit with her, I will stay till you can return Steve.” She offered and the even though the Wolf protested, Steve pressed your palm to his mouth, giving a soft affectionate nip before easing your hand back to the mattress. “Thank you, Natasha.” 

The Red Head nodded, switching spots. “Shes my packmate to. Bucky is out there, Starks floor is one up, that’s where he will be.” 

With a nod, Steve took one last look at you, peaceful and small looking in the oversized bed, quick to exit the door. Wait any longer and his resolve would fold. 

Tony was once more at his desk, and the phone was ringing when a message came through from Bruce, giving him a bit of an update. Tony’s brows arched curiously at this new bit of info, that you were possibly injected with a organic matter made for this particular situation. Wonder how many other people were subjected to the same fate. A click drew him back, an accented voice speaking on the other end. “Stark, its good to hear from you.” 

“Likewise T’Challa. I might have some good news for you. Two cubs were found by a neighboring pack and brought them to me. They are young, I’m hoping they are your missing children.” Tony could hear the sharp muffle of the phone being covered and the king’s voice talking to someone before he came back. “Yes, two were taken along with there mother. No sign of the female?” 

“No… I’m sorry, Pierce might not have taken her if he bought the cubs off a smuggler, or might have already sold her off to another.” Tony didn’t want to share the wall of skins, it was just so horrific to think about. 

“Thank You, the two cubs was more then we had hoped to be able to bring home, I will notify my trackers looking through the states of this news, send them to you if you could possibly direct them to where they were found. Maybe they can pick up a trail.” 

“Absolutely. I will send the cubs back to you, just as soon as they are looked over and given a bit of proper rest. My Mate is tending to them now, and they seem to be in fairly good health. I also have something else to discuss with you King.” 

“What is it?” The Panther said softly, his tone said he was half expecting more bad news. 

“The pack that found them, the Alphas Mate was darted, and her Wolf, it’s gone. Dr.Banner isolated an organic compound in her blood that might be the cause. But this is out of his expertise. If the Alpha could bring her over with the cubs, could Shuri try to bring her back? Shes slipped into something like a coma and shows no signs of waking up, although she appears to be healthy.”

T’Challa was silent a moment before there was a rumbling answer, and Tony suspected it was distress about the Alphas Mate, it had unsettled him the same way thinking about what if that had happened to Pepper. “Of course, send the Alpha Wolf and his Mate along, we will do all we can to help them.” 

“Thank you King. I will be contacting you soon.” 

As he hung up, Steve and Bucky came into the office, and Tony swept a hand to the chairs in front of his desk, waiting till the men settled. “Before you say anything, Steve, it’s already arranged. You will be taking Y/N to Wakanda for Shuri to help her. Now, I heard what Natasha said, but you want to tell me officially. The Council will want to know.” 

Steve bared his teeth in agitation but started in on all that had happened. “I sent Bucky and Natasha to check out this pack as you know. They were immediately taken.” Bucky then took over, telling all about how he was collared, how the collar impacted his beast in chains. “It wasn’t anything like the magic of Wanda, but blood magic. Way to much power in it. And then I was to be sold off to Hydra.” Tony stayed silent listening. “Once we managed to escape, we contacted our Alpha.” 

“And that was it. I had enough to challenge Pierce. We met him on his turf, called him out. He has a whole underground facility my wolves are sorting through now with Sam in charge. After Y/N was shot, we left to get her here as soon as possible. I’m indebted to you.” Steve said solemnly, and Tony waved it away. 

“Don’t, if it was the other way around, I know you would do anything you could for Pepper, Rogers. Besides, I like Y/N, shes good. She would have been a wolf I would have welcomed to my pack should she had come to my borders easily. I will have a cleanup crew go to help Sam, so please let him know beforehand.” 

Steve nodded, but now he was anxious to return to You, not that he didn’t trust Natasha, but this wasn’t home. He wasn’t in control here, and he didn’t want to risk leaving you in an unfamiliar place. 

“I think we’re settled here, Peppers taking care of the Kits now. I will have it all set up to fly you to Wakanda in the morning Steve.” The Alphas all rose, shaking hands and with that all was said and done. 

On the way out, Bucky paused Steve. “Brother, I wish I could go with you. But there’s still Rumlow. I have to find Cassandra. She’s only in this mess cause we’ve been, well I don’t know really what we’ve been doing. But my association has gotten her captured.” 

Steve cursed inwardly, the Wolf guiltily laying back his ears. How could they forget Bucky’s own situation. “Of course, please gather any of the pack you need for tracking them.” 

Both men stepped once more on the elevator. “Barton is coming with me, and I’m going to ask the twins. Pietro is skilled like Barton is, better then I could ever be, and Wanda is a powerful healer already. I don’t know what condition I will find Cassandra. Natasha, she will be going with you to Wakanda.” Bucky swallowed deeply, and Steve clasped his shoulder. 

“What Brock did, it isn’t your fault Buck.” 

“Isn’t it though? If I never messed around with her, she wouldn’t be taken from her home, and god knows what he’s done to her. I should have known better, she’s a human, and I’m just an animal. I never had any intention of taking her as my mate, I should have just left after that first night.” Bucky started to confess, and Steve couldn’t help the twinge in his chest at Bucky’s pain. He knew the White Wolf had long ago decided that he wouldn’t take a mate, but the lone wolf still had a desire for a connection, which he had apparently found in this woman. His hand gave Buckys shoulder another squeeze before letting it slide away. 

“You will find her and return her home, Buck. As soon as I come back from Wakanda, I will join you. You are not alone in this.” 

Bucky turned haunted eyes to his Alpha, his brother, and gave a nod. “Till the end of the line.” 

“Till the end of the line” Steve repeated before the door opened. 

Steve relieved Natasha and he stretched out next to your unconscious form, and half slept till morning when they were collected and taken to the airport, a more comfortable ride set up for the five of you. The Panthers had shifted back at Peppers urging, and now joining You, Steve and Natasha were two children. A girl looking to be eight or nine, and a boy looking to be much younger, maybe five if Steve had to guess. Both the kids bid farewell to Bucky, hanging off his neck as they hugged him and he embraced them both and gave the young boy a ruffle of hair. “Yall come back to visit me, okay? But like next time we will have some fun. No locks or cages, that I promise.” Natasha nudged Steve with a grin and whispered to him. “He’s a natural.” 

Steve had to chuckle watching him. “Yes, he really is. He always had been.” he said softly before Bucky approached them, the man looking between his Alpha and Natasha. “Well, you crazy kids don’t get into any tussles with the Panthers. Means no growling at them, Steve.” He gave a mock warning leaving the Alpha growling at Bucky and Natasha grinning as she stepped forward and hugged Bucky. “Stay safe Buck, I’m not gonna be there to keep you out of trouble.” 

Bucky returned the hug with a laugh, kissing her temple. “Well that’s just not exciting then is it.” Turning to Steve the two men shared a hug too, slapping each other on the back. “Bring Y/N home man, we all just got her, not ready to lose her yet.” 

“That’s the goal, keep us updated Buck, and like Natasha said, stay safe.” The two men separated and together Natasha and Steve went onto the plane, and the door shut. Bucky turned the opposite way, joined with Barton, the two wolves preparing for the hunt. 

The flight was a long one and almost immediately Steve retreated with you, you were laid out, head on his lap as his fingers carded through your hair, his head tilted back with closed eyes, his Wolf was in a semi-relaxed state, only once in a while did the beast raise himself up to pace, using Steves senses to check on you, keep an eye on what was going on around him. Steve felt the Wolf stir, giving a soft growl to alert the man that someone was approaching him when his eyes sprang open to the boy standing in front of him with wide eyes. Steve straightened up a bit and softened his features to smile. “Hello, my name is Steve, what’s yours?” He removed his hand from your hair and held it out to the kid, offering him a peaceful shake. The kid took his hand and turned it, tracing the line of his palm as if studying it before letting go, and he spoke in his native language, which Steve simply shook his head and shrugged not understanding. The girl soon came, looking for her companion. “He said his name is Zane, sorry, my brother can not speak English yet, he was just starting to learn when we were abducted, but he does understand it. My name is Audre.” 

“I’m sorry that happened to you two, If I had known, I would have been there sooner for you,” Steve said sincerely, the two children gave a smile and shook their heads, holding no ill will towards the Alpha. “Were glad you came when you did. I had been trying to break the lock, but had no luck. We were being sold soon to some of that man’s friends.” 

“Well, you don’t have to worry about that man any longer. I promise he won’t be coming for anyone, ever again.” Steve’s hand went back to your hair, brushing through it. Zane stepped in closer and his hand went to touch your face, near your temple and tracing over your forehead and down the bridge of your nose. Speaking again, his sister was quick to translate. “He asked why is she sleeping the deep sleep?” 

The Wolf paused, twisting his ears. 

<Maybe they would know how to bring her back Steve.>

Steve looked down at you, his own hand cupping the side of your face, and letting his fingers brush along your cheeks. “She was hurt, by the man that kept you two caged. She is my mate, and I miss her very much. I’m hoping your King and his sister can bring her back to me.” 

The little boys eyes shined as he turned to his sister, speaking hurriedly. His sister listened and then turned back to Steve. 

“He says she feels you, and misses you very much Alpha. That she can hear you but is lost while searching for her Little Wolf. She went deep inside, and is looking for her way back to you. But she can feel you calling her, your touches. She was scared but knows you are keeping her safe. And… “ She turned back to her brother and listened again, nodding as she repeated it. “That it felt good to be held last night, she was worried you would leave her alone.” 

“No, never would I leave her alone.” Steve’s other hand was heavy on your hip, keeping a hold on you and the kids smiled, the little boy reaching out to pat Steve’s chest and say something else. 

“Zane says your a good Alpha, and that she is lucky to have you. She will return home, and you two will be okay once more.” Audre hugged her brother around his shoulders and looked down at him. “Come brother, The Alpha is tired and needs to rest before we get back home, let him be with his mate.” Leading him away, Steve pondered what they had told him, leaning his forehead down to press against yours, breathing you in deeply. Although your scent wasn’t entirely the same, he was still swept up on the honeysuckle softness that was all yours. “I promise I’m not going anywhere Little One.” Still, nothing, although he was now convinced you heard him. 

A short time later Natasha came to find him, sitting down next to the Alpha. This time her familiar scent washed over him, and he didn’t bother to open his eyes to his packmate, but listened closely. 

“Were about to land. T’Challa and the King’s Warriors are meeting us to welcome us. They will escort us to Shuri’s quarters and start treating Y/N right away.” 

Steve sighed quietly and opened his eyes to smile at Natasha. “Good. Zane and Audre came to see me a bit ago. Told me that she could still hear me, feel me.” 

Natasha could feel and see the pain her Alpha was in, and she reached over to drape her arm over his shoulders, sliding in closer to the two of them. “Then you should believe them, I think she knows your with her Steve, you two are connected in far more ways then just the mating bite could provide. Maybe you two are those soul mates actually destined to belong together, and not just making it work.” 

Steve still stared down at you and nodded. “Perhaps your right.” Somewhere deep inside his mind, the Wolf howled again, calling for you to return to him. And Steve could have sworn you stirred a bit under his touch. 

Natasha was correct. When they came off the plane, there was a full escort accompanying the king. The kids squealed as they ran off the plane, a man rushing forward to gather the two kids into his arms, kissing the two all over there faces with what had to be the happiest tears streaking down his face. All three spoke with such rapidity, that Steve couldn’t even fathom what was being said, but he pressed his mouth to your ear, whispering. “That is the happiest family reunion I’ve ever seen.” His blue eyes squinted in the bright sun, and soon caught sight of T’Challa approaching him and Natasha, the man had a easy way about him, calm. His language was that of a lazy cat, strolling as if all belonged to him. He clasped Steves shoulders and the two men bowed there heads to each other out of respect and T’Challa did a similar motion to Natasha before looking at you in Steve’s arms. 

“Let us get her quick to Shuri, eh? The sooner we can return your queen to you, the sooner we can celebrate her and the cubs return to the Clans.” Looking over his shoulder, he gave an order, and his warriors brought forth a carrier to bring them all back. Steve and Natasha stepped up, and their eyes traveled the ranks, surprised it was nothing but female warriors. 

“Ah, the Womans Clan is the fiercest amongst us. You ladies will fight harder than any male, correct?” T’Challa smiled at Natasha, who grinned in agreement. “Hear that Steve looks like I’m more badass then you.” 

The Alpha snorted and shook his head. “Hell if I would ever deny that. You could kick my ass any day if you wanted to.” 

T’Challa laughed deeply and Natasha gave a fist pump in victory, Steve still holding you close, praying you knew he meant every word. For him you were far stronger then he could ever be.

Once they arrived at the Kings home in the center of Wakanda, it was all a blur for Steve and Natasha. A young woman immediately took over and T’Challa stepped out of her way. She bent over Steve who retrained the warning growls from his beast as she pried your eyes open, and slid her hands down to your chest, waiting to feel your rhythm. “Shes matching your’s Alpha, good. She’s not to far gone. Get her on the table, quick now.” Steve followed behind the brisk walking Shuri, and once he set her down, she pressed against Steve’s chest to back him up. “I need room to work Alpha.” 

“Shuri… you need to explain to him what your doing to his mate.” T’Challa followed along behind, and Steve stepped back, but wasn’t too far. “Mates have a hard time separating. Even ones that haven’t shared the entire bond yet.” The King was far more aware of his situation then Steve had thought he would be. 

<Stark, I’m sure he told T’Challa everything with you and Y/N.> The wolf rumbled softly

I think your right, but that’s a good thing. The more they know the better to help Y/N. 

That settled the Wolf back down, sure to keep an eye on You. Shuri started attaching wires to your forehead, temples, then tugged your shirt up enough to attach the same wires to your chest and stomach. Grabbing a needle, she put a tourniquet to your arm and tapped at the vein. “I’m monitoring brain waves. Our humans and animals are two different waves, although we are the same. Her Wolf… if its the Heart Herb, it’s not gone Alpha. It’s in hibernation.” She plunged the needle and drew out some blood, filling a tube, before pulling it away and giving a vigorous shake, tossing it to an assistant. “Check for the Heart Herb attachment to her red cells and let me know.” Steves nose wrinkled at the scent of your blood, stirring unease in him, be he pushed it down, Shuri was just as quick in her movements to get you bandaged. 

Looking at Steve, the young woman broke out in a grin. “So ease up Alpha, if that’s the case, I can bring the Wolf back and she be good as new.” 

“If that’s what it is, can she overdose on it? Because Pierce gave her a whole vial of it at once.” Steve asked, and Suri rolled her eyes. “Of course he did. Brother, I told you that bastard took more than our Panthers.” 

“And I told you back then I agreed Sister.” T’Challa retorted as he came up next to Steve. “She could overdose, but it would have to be more than a vial. Right now, IF this is what it is, its simply a deep hibernation. Shuri has the capabilities to bring her back.” 

“We just got to get her to wake up her human side first.” Suri watched the monitors and rocked back and forth on her heels. It was like a light had gone off over her head, the way her eyes widened and she was quick to rush over to a cabinet, grabbing a vial and sticking a needle in it, filling it. 

“And I got just the way to get her to wake up. Now Alpha, this won’t be immediate, but whew when it happens, be ready.” She lifted your arm and gave you an injection, and Steve arched his brows with concern. 

“Be ready? For what?” 

Suri just giggled and disposed of the needle, smirking at him. “You will see.” 

Steve looked at T’Challa who had a similar grin on his face. “Come, let me show you your rooms, and have Natasha brought to hers.” Some assistants started to unhook you and set you on a stretcher that was powered to float on its own, following the men out of the room. They joined back up with Natasha, and everyone got settled in their rooms for the night. You were laid out, and Steve once more stretched out next to you, sighing deeply as he just talked until sleep finally overtook him. Rolling in his sleep, his arm slung over your hip, his hand pressed against your stomach, keeping you in close to him. 

You could feel your mind stirring, heated waves rolling through you. But you were still unable to drag your consciousness forward. You couldn’t find your Little Wolf and was barely aware of Steve beside you. You heard his deep baritone, and a few words, a brush of his touch, but barely. No matter how much you willed yourself to return to him, it just felt like circles. But now, now there was a heat surrounding you, and you were firmly aware of his heavy hand clasped against your stomach, and the feeling of a broad muscled chest against your back, as well as a heavy erection pressing against your backside, a hairy calf pressed between your thighs. Now, if only you could open your eyes, you drew in deep inhales of his scent, and that comforted you, your senses swirling with pines and masculinity, you tried following that, the heat just kept building and you groaned at the familiar ache it caused. You would have sworn it was like going into heat again, but how could you without the Wolf to trigger it? 

A bright light started to permeate your senses and you could feel hot breaths against the back of your neck, Steve had his face tucked into your neck, still, sound asleep, and a rumble sounded through him. It was enough to call you forward and your eyes sprang open, searching wildly for him. He was behind you, you could feel him and you twisted in his arms, grasping his lips to yours, he shuddered awake to you kissing him, his arm sweeping around you as you pressed into him, pressing him back to the mattress, your tongue swirling with his, clashing of teeth. You needed him, more then ever before you thought and you crawled up enough to straddle him, panting against his mouth, your eyes closed as you rocked your hips against him, a pleading sound in your voice. 

“I need you Alpha, Steve. Now, Please. I need you inside of me.”

<So this is what they meant> The Wolf shuddered awakening with a ferocity for his mate and Steve’s hands fell to your hips, rocking you harder against him till he lifted you to raise on your knees, and you reached for his manhood, pressing it against your center. Hands tightening, he brought you down to sheath himself in your heat, and your head tipped back with a soft cry, bracing your hands against his chest. You were dripping hot and ached so badly for him, that the relief of feeling your Alpha was bliss for you, thrusting yourself to spear him inside of you, it was a quick fury for you two. Steve’s hips slamming upwards to meet your movements holding you tightly at the waist till he released his hold to cup your breasts, teasing the nipples. You to clasp your hands over his, holding him there, panting at the sensations he brought out in you. 

“Fuck I thought I would never find you, Steve.” You rushed out while moaning, flexing yourself around him. 

“You were so far away, Little One, I kept calling to you.” He rumbled deep in his chest, and loosened his hands, flipping you two so he could give deeper more dominating strokes and you wrapped your legs around his hips, staring up at him. 

“I heard you Alpha, I tried, so hard.” You hissed and tipped your head back, Steve immediately started placing soft non claiming bites to your neck, sucking marks on it as you arched your chest to rub against his, rubbing your scent against him. Nails dug into his back, marking him in your own way as they held onto the rolling flexing muscles, speeding the rocking of your hips as you both sought to make the other cum. 

“I know you did, I know you wouldn’t leave me willingly.” Steves bites fell back to your lips, dominating your mouth with his, and you held on, feeling him start to swell in you and your cunt flexed, tightened around his cock when he angled himself just right, crying into the kiss, and tears streaming down your face at the intensity of needing to cum, flood him with yourself. He was everywhere, and you scrambled to keep yourself close even though he pounded you into the mattress, cumming just then around him. When you drifted this time it wasn’t into nothingness, but the immense pleasure that had you gasping against his neck, and he slowed down his thrusts, slow and deep while you loosened your hold, sinking back into the pillows, rocking with him, as you nodded. 

“Never Steve, I know I belong to you. I’m all yours Alpha, all yours.” softly whispering out.

Steves kiss this time was far gentler but no less as before neediness. Slow strokes of the tongue matched the roll of his hips, nudging himself to claim you full, welding you two together. There couldn’t be another, not one you wanted to hold you still underneath him, one to capture your mind, and love you in the way he does. Not just a physical need, but mental too. His forehead dropped to yours, rolling through with another connecting thrust and you both inhaled each other, the hot heavy scent of your bodies pressing together, the blood, sweat, and tears shared. For you to felt his own hot tears drop and mingle with yours rolling down your face, a quick lap of his tongue against your cheek wiped them away, as you two rocked together. 

“And your mine, Little One, you will never be alone.” He cupped your face and kissed you deeply, groaning as you came again, and his seed painted your channel, his pumps stilling as he knotted you, the two of you drifting into a bliss-filled state, tangled around one another, unwilling to separate for some time. Hushed sighs and shared nipping kisses soon enabled you both to drift off to sleep again. 

It wasn’t till some time later you woke again and were sprawled against Steve’s chest. Tilting your head, a glass of water caught your sight, and you shifted off him to reach for it, moving to sit on the edge of the bed while you gulped the glass down, parched as you had never been before. Setting the glass down, you looked around the room. And it occurred to you this was nothing like his cabin home. This was a wide-open space, and the air was not crisp and sharp woods and lake. This was almost… tropical. Musty vegetation and promise of heated days filled your senses, that’s when the breeze blew your face and you turned to an opening to a balcony, no doors or windows covering it. Grabbing the sheet, to keep the front of you covered, you wandered out to the deck to gasp softly, just below was a jungle, stretching out far, and beyond that what looked like a savannah, littered with what looked like Zebras and Gazelle, spotting an elephant, rhinos. Loud squawking and bright colors flashed below in all that greenery and a flock of macaws went screaming past, scattering over towards a statue that seemed carved right out of the cliff face, a giant prowling cat, his paw up to strike out at his enemies. 

“Were certainly not home anymore.” 

Steve stirred when he didn’t feel you next to him and looked around till he saw you, the sheet clutched around you, the wind making it ripple just a bit. Moving to roll out of bed, and to a stand, he approached from behind, sliding his hands along your bare hips under the sheet, and kissed your bare shoulder, growling softly as he took in the view you were currently gasping at. 

“Welcome to Wakanda Little One.”   

[starksvixen]

Part 3 - Never Lose Me

Masterlist

Summary: You and Mando have begun to grow closer as your time with the Child drew out. No longer were you “just partners”. Something had begun to spring within you, a feeling dead for so long erupting within your heart. Or was it just you?

Warnings: Angst, angst, angst, and more angst. Sprinkles of fluff. Possible unrequited feelings. 

A/N - Sorry for the late update! It’s been a hectic few weeks for me, but I promise to try and upload more. 

Let’s get one thing straight, you were never one for adventure. All your life, adventure meant trouble for you and it had definitely left it’s scars. So when you joined Mando, you were bracing for more craziness, more marks upon your skin. It was nothing but a means to an end, a debt you needed to pay off. However, through your years together, that swiftly changed. 

You began to crave adventure. 

With your new addition of the Child to your crew, you weren’t lacking, that’s for sure. But it sent these horses through your veins, adrenaline left in their trail, and it was your addiction. Running from bounty hunters, keeping the kid safe, all of it. However, after you latest encounter with weird alien birds on the sands of Navarro, it all began to connect.

He had taught you to love it, showed you how to enjoy it. You loved adventure because you weren’t alone, you had a partner. It was all thanks to him. It was him. 

Your ice encrusted heart had been melted by the Mandalorian. 

When he lunged in front of those nasty looking birds to save your life, it was as if your heart leapt to meet your brain. He had risked his life for you. And you knew that the beat in your heart that spelled your love in Morse code would be dangerous. So you quickly shut yourself up, shut him out. You couldn’t be the reason he got hurt, he couldn’t get hurt on behalf of your one-sided puppy love. He was just keeping you alive to pay off your dues. 

Right?

Tuning back into the scene in front of you, the tight cuffs around your wrists, you repeated the plan in your head over and over again like a prayer. You were on your way to a deal that was supposed to be about the Kid, but in reality it was an ambush, with you and Mando in the lead. 

“Dar’manda, wanna explain the silence?” Mando says as quiet as he can so that it can be translated with static. 

“It’s nothing, Mando...” you mumble in return, keeping your eyes averted. 

“Cya-” 

“Don’t.” 

“(Y/N), what did I do?” it comes like a mumble from beneath his mask, too quiet to be picked up by machine. 

‘I fell in love with you.’ you think.

“Nothing, just focus on the mission.” 

With a harsh sigh, you set your jaw tight and aim your view ahead as you walk the barren streets of Navarro. Soon enough, both you and Mando are sitting down, facing the disgusting Imp in front of you that was obviously undressing you with his eyes. 

Little did you know that beneath the helmet, Mando’s jaw clenched. 

With swift yet quiet movements, Greef (who was still petrified of you) had unlocked you from your restraints. As the Imp continues on and on about his annoying propaganda, a leather hand slipped into yours. Your forced to suppress a gasp as he gently squeezes your hand, a silent sign of trust between you two. You cannot feed into the comfortable feeling, right now...

All you see is red. 

Literally. Before you and Mando had a chance to take down your Imperial crowd, a rain of blasters bursts through the windows. All four of you, including Greef and Cara, barely made it down in time to dodge them. Somehow, the two of you made it towards the other edge of the window, a semi clear view of the pack of Stormtroopers surrounding you. 

Grabbing your blaster and blade from Mando’s back, you load them both, getting ready for the fight ahead of you. You go quiet as you hear a ship land. Your blood runs cold at the sound of his voice. 

Moff Gideon.

The Seige of Mandalore flashes before your eyes, making your eyes flood with uncontrollable tears. The start of it all. You smack Mando’s hand away as he obviously saw your weakness. With a quiet sniffle, you cock your gun, listening to the twisted words Gideon spewed. 

But once he stopped, the rushed footsteps and clanking of metal grew your suspicion. 

“They’re setting up an EWEB, aren’t they?” you say to Cara. 

She only nods in response. 

“It’s over.” Karga says from his corner. 

“Yeah, cause that’s really helpful right now!” you spit. 

“I found the sewer vent.” Mando says.

He gently tugs you over to him by your arm, keeping you under cover as you, Cara, and him try to open the vent. You tried your hot blade, nothing. Mando was out of charges. Not even Cara’s blaster worked. 

Of course, Moff Gideon decided to add more stress to the situation with another speech. But when he started listing off the names of your crew, you knew you were screwed. 

“Maybe the traitorous Mandalorian, (Y/N) (L/N), the woman who never had a chance to take the Creed but still broke it, can regail her many tales of murder using the same weapon that killed her people. She seems like a great ally compared to the weak Dar’manda you knew, hmm?” 

All eyes turn to you, your hood still covering your face but at this point you knew it was of no use. Slowly, you take off your hood, revealing the scar starting from the edge of your right eye, leaving a long scar that trailed through a place where there was once hair. 

“Or perhaps the decommissioned Mandalorian, Din Djarin, has heard the songs of the Siege of Mandalore, when gunships of similar ordinance laid waste to fields of Mandalorian recruits in The Night of A Thousand Tears.” 

Din Djarin. 

You look to Din with wide eyes, wondering if the boy that you had hidden in the bunker with all those years ago was still in that metal mask. The one you trained with, laughed with. Your Din...

And now you were going to die together. How poetic. 

The world seemed to spin, everything around you turned to static. As Din retells the tail of how he was rescued, how you two met, your body shivers from the memories buried so deep inside you. Your grip tightens on your blaster, pain, frustration, betrayal. 

“Why didn’t you tell me? Tell me that you recognized me?” you mumble.

“I had to protect you, from everything that I’ve done,” he says as he crouches in front of you. 

“I don’t need your protection...” you swiftly stand up, keeping your space. “I need your trust...” 

“Alright! Can you save the lovers quarrel for when, oh, I don’t know, we survive this!” Cara says quickly. 

You nod, bending down to grab one of the sniper rifles the Stormtrooper had and reloading it fast. Everything around you goes quiet, blocking out your teammates, only focused on the threat at hand. 

Well, until you saw your little green fuzzball in view, strapped to a droid unit’s chest. 

“Cover me!” you yell to Cara, quickly making your way outside and helping the droid keep the baby safe.

More gunshots joined you and as you turn you see the Mandalorian covering your six. You only nod as a sign of gratitude. As you get back to the fight, and Karga decides to join you, a hard grunt from behind you quickly makes you turn around. One of the stormtroopers had flipped Din to the ground, ready to fire. 

Without a second thought, you throw your gun away for a moment and pull your knife out, the exposure to the air sending the cool grey into a heated red. With one arm, you pull the trooper against your chest and with the other, you slowly drag the hot blade against his throat. A slow and painful death. Once his body was on the ground, you picked up your rifle again and continued to shoot at the rest. 

Moff Gideon soon stepped in front of you, his eyes targeted towards your head, most likely imagining your death. You drop your gun, and feign surrender, only to grab your smaller blaster and take a quick shot. Unfortunately you missed, and so did he. But he was still standing, giving him the chance to shoot at a fuel canister, one right in front of Mando. 

“Din!” you screamed, as you watched his metal body flail to the ground. 

Cara and Greef dragged him inside as you slowly but surely made it back towards the building. Once inside, you quickly helped Cara lay him down, rolling him onto his side to check for wounds. 

Your worst fear had happened. The unrequited feelings you had to deal with had injured the one you love most. For the first time in what had felt like forever, you were panicked.

It was obvious he had sustained a pretty nasty head wound. So, naturally, you refused to leave his side while the others tried to escape. Without the others noticing, you moved the fabric of his shirt up above his wrist to keep two fingers on his pulse. With every beat, you were reminded that he was still there.

You kept an eye on your surroundings, with each passing minute your dread filling you up to the brim.

“Cyar’ika,” you hear a pained voice from beside you.

Turning your head, your met with the familiar visor you had grown to love. He was speaking, that was good. 

“I’m not going to make it. You need to go,”

Now you wish he hadn’t. 

“Are you insane? You just smacked yourself, you’ll be fine.” you say with a soft chuckle, moving your hand away from his exposed wrist. 

“Leave me,”

His breathing picked up, he was in pain. Knowing that this was all your fault, that Din laid before you thinking he was going to die, it killed you. Tears sprung into your eyes without notice. 

“No, I’m not leaving you again.”

Gently, you caress where his helmet meets his neck, only to feel the sticky, metallic substance you knew to be blood. Tears fell from your eyes like rain now. 

“Din...” you whisper tearfully. 

“Don’t you dare think about taking this helmet off. You leave me.” he reaches shakily into his shirt, pulling out the mythosaur skull charm and placing it in your hands. “Take this and you make sure the child is safe.”

“Didn’t you hear me? I’m not leaving you,”

Before he could speak again, you waved Cara over, placing the necklace in her palm. 

“You need to take the Child and get him to the Mandalorian covert. When you find them, you tell them it’s from Din Djarin. Got it?”

With a nod, she takes it, and the Child, preparing for their escape.

“Cyare, please...”

You gave him silence to his pleas, opting to hold his hand tightly instead as you watched the scene outside. You saw the fire gun, and you quickly shielded him with your own body, taking most of the burns instead of him.

With your back singed, you let out the tiniest whimper as you sit back up straight.

“(Y/N)-” Cara starts. 

“I can hold him off long enough to let you guys get out of here. I’ll follow behind with Din,”

“And if you don’t make it?”

“We’ll die a warriors death,”

Another blast of fire erupts from the cannon it is held in. You launch yourself over Din once more, bracing for the pain that never comes. Looking over your shoulder, you see the Child, holding back the flames from harming you. With a pained but proud smile, you inch your way over to him before he collapses and give him a hug. 

“Good job, kid,” you whisper. 

One final bang alerts you to the newly made escape route. With a soft kiss to his fuzzy head, you whisper once more:

“You be good, okay? I love you, kiddo.”

The IG unit takes him from you quickly, placing it in Cara’s arms. You crawl back towards Din, gently taking his hand again to try and distract yourself from the pain. Despite the overwhelming sensation of singed flesh, you could feel blood trickling down your back, making you shiver. But you refused to be weak. You refused to let Din die. 

Looking around once more, you see only the IG unit left. He’s a droid...

“Hey, droid!” 

He turns his head to you.

“Got any bacta spray?” 

“As a matter of fact, I do,” 

“Good.” 

Pulling out your blade, you cut off a long strip of Din’s cape, wrapping it tightly around your eyes. 

“What are you doing?” Din weakly asks. 

“I’m taking off your helmet, and the droid will heal you. He’s not living,” you tie the last knot even tighter. “And I can’t see you.”

A weak chuckle reverberates from him.

“You’re still as crazy as the day I met you,”

“Well, love makes you do crazy things,”

Gently, you guide your hands up his chest and to his helmet. You expect his hands to come flying towards your wrists, to stop you. But surprisingly, he doesn’t do so. With a click and a hiss, his helmet comes sliding off, and you lay it in your lap for safe keeping. 

“There is damage to your central processing unit.” the driod says as he does his work.

“You mean my brain?” 

“That was meant to be a joke.”

Din’s soft chuckle puts your mind at ease as you stared into the black space. Once you hear the spray no longer being applied, you blindly reached out and helped Din sit up. Before you get a chance to reach down and put his helmet on again, something unexpected happens. 

His lips were on yours. 

Despite being caged in a helmet all the time, they were soft against yours. The metallic taste of blood danced along your tongue but it was no match to the adrenaline running through your veins at the sensation at your love’s lips against yours. You played an intricate and slow dance, one that you wished you could never get enough of. With a shaking hand, you reached into the uninjured side of his head, running it through the matted curls. The feeling of it all made you smile, the kiss ending way too soon. 

“I love you too,” he whispers. 

With a smile you couldn’t control, you ever so gently place the helmet back onto his head. Taking the blindfold off, you stared into his visor. Brown, you knew that had to be the color of his hair. 

His hand snakes it’s way behind your head, pushing it towards his metal clad one in a Keldabe kiss. With a tearful smile, your hand moves over the metal with ease, mimicking the same gesture. 

“You can only say that if you promise I’ll never lose you again,” you mumble.

“You’ll never lose me, cyar’ika,” 

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[alkhale]

Typetober Day 8: encounters and partings

In light of a Memos update coming veeeerrrryyyyy sooooooon (to the reader who asked for an update because today was their birthday, i’m sorry i wasn’t able to make it :( but i promise i’ll make it up to you! hope you had an amazing one <3)

A flurry of bodies rushed past her legs, nearly toppling her over. Hoku wobbled, grabbing the wooden pillar of the shop beside her before she could fall flat on her face. She scowled, whirling around with one hand curled into a fist. “Hey! Stupid brats, watch where you’re going! You could get someone killed!”

“Sorry, lady!” one of the boys hollered, breaking out into a chorus of laughter as they ran. The smallest one tripped, forcing the other two to brake on their heels. They quickly rushed back, hauling him up by his arms and running away with him in tow.

Hoku stopped at the sight, fist loosening in the air. She felt a little quiet all of a sudden, staring at their backs as the three boys laughed, heads tossed high and smiles bright until they disappeared entirely from sight.

“Hoku, you’re too slow!”

“Put more effort into it!”

“We’re gonna leave you behind!”

“My star, is something wrong?”

Hoku’s fingers uncurled from her fist. She dropped her hand back down to her side, staring after the empty space between the crowd. 

No. She thought back, reaching behind her to touch Mau’s hilt before she shook her head, turning toward the shop and stepping inside. “It’s nothing.”

Hoku fixed the tie under her chin. Her hood stayed well in place, hiding the bright white hair she’d tucked away for the sake of a little stealth. The island ought to be fine for now since she was just picking up supplies before her next raid, but she couldn’t be too careful. I have to think ahead. I have to be smart.

There wasn’t anyone else around to do it for her.

C’mon, it’s not like I haven’t done this solo thing before. Hoku shook her head, making her way to the back counter of the shop. Her order from last night should be ready by now, so she’d be in and out without a hitch. It’s nothing new.

But it was a bit new. When you’d had something for so long and were forced to live without it, everything became new.

You know what you’ve got to do.

“I’m here to pick up an order from last night,” Hoku said to the man at the counter. 

His eyes flickered in recognition at the mark around her eye and he nodded, shuffling to the back. There was another man at the counter, waiting for his own order. Hoku stopped a polite distance away from him, folding her hands in front of her and waiting, trying to map out how she’d make it to the next marine base without setting off an entire armada. It’s located at the center of the island, so it’ll be a little harder to make the runaway. Can I really handle just going in and getting what I need without causing a fuss? Not causing a fuss had never really been the Straw Hat Pirate’s motto. 

Hoku ignored the tightness in her stomach in the heavy weight in her chest. You’re just getting sentimental. Suck it up.

She glanced to the side, watching the other man at the counter inspect bottles of ink in an attempt to distract herself. He was pretty well-dressed for this part of town. Maybe from the rick mansions up the hillside? Hoku blinked once, watching the thick, gloppy substance churn inside. Ugh, that’s not going to sit well on paper. It would probably bleed right through. It’d stain the brush too. Terrible quality. Don’t buy it, man. It’s not worth it.

He ran a gloved thumb over the label, seemingly fixated on it. Hoku’s eyes swept along, squinting suspiciously when his gloved fingers rolled a heavy bottle to the side, showing its brand.

“Pokian ink?” Hoku said out loud in disbelief. “That’s supposed to be Pokian ink?”

The man paused, his fingers halting over the bottle. Hoku flinched in realization, cursing herself as he started to turn toward her. She quickly whipped her gaze down, making sure her hood kept her covered from his line of sight. There’d been a flash of wavy blonde from his hair underneath his top hat, the collar of his dark coat folded down over his carvat. Don’t make a scene, you dumbass.

“I’m sorry,” he said. His voice was amiable, nice and pleasant. She’d almost say charming, but Hoku had the displeasure of meeting plenty of people with personalities that didn’t match the nice tone of their voice. “Did you... are you familiar? With ink, I mean.”

Hoku considered keeping her mouth shut and just coming off as some rude weirdo. He probably wouldn’t bother her if she just kept quiet and let it go.

“What do you need it for?” Hoku said. She should stab herself in the foot. She really should. “Just for writing?”

“That would be ideal,” he said, sounding a bit relieved for the conversation. He turned his entire body to her, opening up his body language but Hoku kept her gaze forward, refusing to turn her face. “I... I was looking a bit into ink that might be good for painting, though I’m not very good at it.”

“You should buy paint then, not ink,” Hoku said automatically. He seemed a bit surrpised. “If, I mean, you’re going to paint. You can paint with ink, but they’re different for a reason.”

Hoku pointed a finger to the jar in his hands, not turning once. “That’s not good quality for either. Real Pokian ink doesn’t look like that. It’ll have a smooth, thick texture, depending on what it’s for. It might even seem clear sometimes, pinkish. Usually it can be found in black though, but you can tell through a jar by the way it slides when you turn it. Should move like blood.”

“I see,” he said, sounding a little amazed. Hoku nodded, curt. “I... You’re very knowledgable. Are you well-versed with Pokian crafts?”

“...I know a bit,” Hoku said, giving herself a pat on the back for not saying anything else. “Just trust me on this though.”

“I will then,” he said warmly. Hoku blinked, a bit pleased by his compliance. “Sorry,” he laughed. “Do I seem gullible?”

Yikes. Am I that easy to read? “No,” she said, “I’m glad you trust me.”

“It does seem like someone who wouldn’t know the truth wouldn’t have much to say,” he said, a little sly as he dragged his finger down the ink bottle and set it down. “Do you see fraud like this often?”

“Too much,” Hoku said instantly. She pressed her lips into a tight line at his boyish laugh. “Just... Just know most real Pokian works won’t typically say they are.”

“I’ll remember that,” he said with a small laugh. “Do you have anymore tips?”

“Not really,” Hoku forced herself to say. “If you’ve got a good eye, you’ll find what you’re looking for.”

Hoku tried to stifle her curiosity. “...you a collector of some kind?”

“No, nothing of the sorts,” he said quietly. There was something a bit sad to his tone, a little lost. Hoku raised a brow, turning a tiny bit. “I’m... I’m fond of the culture, I suppose. It... It feels like knowing more will help me find something I’ve lost.”

“...oh, yeah?” Hoku said, turning a tiny bit more. He hummed, soft in response. “What did you lose?”

“...something very important,” he said quietly. Hoku fell silent. “I wasn’t able to... no, I’m going to try to think a little more positively. I’m still looking. I have to keep looking.”

Hoku said nothing, keeping her eyes forward, hoping a bit for his desperate sake he’d find what he was looking for too. Lost something important, huh. 

Her chest ached.

“If you don’t mind me asking,” he said politely, reaching his hand over to catch her attention. Hoku half turned. The man behind the counter was returning with her bag as well. “I... Feel free to say otherwise, but if I were to be looking for someone of Pokian descent—not for bad intentions! More... more for a specific person, do you know what would be the best way to find them?”

Hoku debated the words on her tongue. Half of her had a mind to just grab her bag over the counter and leave. He seems earnest though. His questions were weird and she didn’t like people poking around into Pokian business with unsavory intentions. But is it even my business if it’s just one person he’s looking for? What if it’s an old flame or a friend or maybe even family? Distant? Who knows?

She didn’t really owe him anything either.

“It depends on the person, you never really know unless you’ve got the right information,” Hoku decided. She grabbed her bag across the counter, already sensing his disappointment in waves. From the corner of her eye she saw his shoulders slump, hands falling down in front of him. “But if it’s just one Pokian in particular you’re looking for...”

Hoku lightly tapped the side of her head on the outside of her hood. He paused. “You should look for their coming of age mark. If you remember what it looks like or where they had theirs... you can’t miss them.”

“...I’ll remember that,” he said, sounding a bit more hopeful, a little... a little curious? “I... Thank you, miss.”

“You’re welcome,” Hoku said simply. She threw her bag over her shoulder. “Good luck.”

“Thank you—“

The doors to the shop slammed open, smacking into either wall. The shopkeep fled to the back of the store and Hoku froze, staring at the entrance as three marines searched before their eyes landed on her.

“There she is!”

Son of a bitch! The man beside Hoku froze, growing rigid as he raised one hand. Hoku whipped her head to the side.

She didn’t hesitate, taking off. The marines flooded into the store and the man at the counter turned, his eyes following her in wide surprise as she jumped onto a table and leapt through the window feet first, boots smashing through the glass and flinging herself outside.

The wind ripped her hood back. Paper white hair spilled out, brushing over her face.

He stopped, frozen.

Wait.

Hoku ran, ducking into an alleyway as the marines tried to tail after her. If there’s a few, there’s more. They’re like cockroaches. She clambored onto a roof, ducking as a group ran past. She quickly took out her brush, drawing onto the thatching and pulling the bird free from the wood. Hoku blew across it, mumbling under her breath as it expanded, unfurling its wings with a resounding flap.

“Excuse me!” Hoku whirled around in surprise. The guy from the shop? “Excuse me! Wait! Please, wait a second—”

Hoku’s eyes caught the flash of blue and white uniforms. She shook her head, jumping onto her bird and taking off. It beat its massive wings once, shaking its beak in protest before it took off into the sky, leaving everyone behind.

“Wait, please! Wait! Wait! Please, wait—“

Hoku didn’t look back.

“Hoku?”

Hoku stopped. Her bird continued to fly beneath her, taking them further and further away from the marines. She blinked, mind whirring as she quietly turned behind her, staring in confusion.

“Guess I heard wrong,” she mumbled, shaking her head. “Let’s go.”

Her bird banked beneath her, taking them far, far away.

“There he is! Hack! I found him! Where did you run off to—huh?” Koala’s eyes went wide, hands flying up into the air as she stopped just short of giving her friend a playful shove. “I—oh my goodness, are you okay?”

He sat, slumped over the top of the roof. His hands hung limply in his lap, gloved fingers clinging to a loose leaf of paper he’d tugged hastily out of his breast pocket. He stared out into the sky, looking forlorn and lost.

“What happened?” Koala asked, crouching down beside him. “Are you alright?”

“...I,” he stopped, looking down at the paper in his hands. “I don’t really know.”

Koala frowned, lightly rubbing her hand against his back. He ran his thumb across the carefully inked marking, curved like half a heart and smeared at just the bottom, like someone had bumped into them in the middle of it.

Sabo gently folded it back up, tucking it into his pocket, right beside his heart.

Was it even you?

[senju-sekhmet]

The Leash (Part 9)

Summary: Your rescue was supposed to be as smooth as these missions can be. However very quickly, Tobirama faces off against an enemy that has no form, color or smell - and time is running short, very fast. Unless he figures out what truly holds you hostage, your life will be lost. Warnings (for the finished work): Blood, illness, descriptions of heavy injuries and graphic violence, torture (both depicted and implied), needles, morally grey territory, human experimentation, panic attacks, character death, angst with a happy ending ~6000 words (this chapter, finished work: 80.000) Previous: Part 1; Part 2; Part 3; Part 4; Part 5; Part 6; Part 7; Part 8 Read on AO3!   Disclaimer below the cut! more updates. is it really a disclaimer still, i wonder lmao

DISCLAIMER! we are nearing the grand finale of this fic!! please stick until the very end okay?! i know this chapter might be a little bit of a drag - it’ll get better, promise. <3 Other than that: enjoy my very self indulgent work, filled with my own headcanons and angst galore. Let me know what you think and thank you so much for reading!!!! ________ Leaving you had been a real test of will. Not only were you in such a deplorable state overall, but also your request - it was quite obvious you were putting on a brave face, but the truth of the matter was you weren’t faring well, at all. It was the little signs that gave you away - the slight tremor in your voice sometimes. The gallows humour. He didn’t want to think about what the withdrawal had been like for you. But he could well imagine. And as per usual, he was helpless except to unravel how to produce more of this damned leash. He couldn’t even heal you or alleviate some of your exhaustion at this point. 

By the time he had reached the laboratory he was frustrated beyond measure, sick from guilt and his heart was aching that if he didn’t know better, he might as well think he was sick. He wasn’t, of course. But eliciting such bodily responses due to his emotional state was something entirely foreign to Tobirama. He was - always had been - subject to his moods, sure. And the people around him would know his sour moods, especially. But would he carelessly act on them, or physically feel them like this? No. Luckily it was the middle of the night and there had been nobody around to witness the somber scowl he was wearing. Not that he cared, anyway.

In the grand scheme of things, that was the least of his concerns.

He had contemplated testing his newest result on another prisoner, but ultimately decided against it. The best he could hope for was a prolonged time of muting the victim’s chakra. What he really needed to start working on now was to weave the second component in, the disruption. And since he had four vials available, that offered a variety of options. He’d leave one untouched, to be safe - and work on one for now to start with that.

The first problem was to imagine how he’d want the disruption to kick in. He knew from examining your blood and also the reaction you’ve shown that it took some time for the disruption to kick in. He had deduced it must be because of the chakra muting component - it covered the disruption up to leave a timeframe in which a victim was not threatened by it. When it faded, only the disruption remained, the lethal withdrawal kicked in. Therefore, the chakra needed for this would need to last longer, adhere to the victim almost like a brand and be intense enough to cause these effects. He did have a vague idea how to achieve this - but to compress it into such a small vial was… daunting.

What’s new, he somberly figured to himself.

And just as he imagined, this proved to be even more complicated than weaving the first component in. Not only did he have to treat delicately, but also be extremely careful to not destroy the structures he had worked so hard to get into that vial in the first place. He didn’t quite succeed in that - partly, the muting component took damage. The whole process felt as though he needed to weave chakra inbetween what was already in the vial - as if he was transplanting it onto the already delicate structure he had created. It was endlessly frustrating. Frankly everything about this was so demanding, at times he wondered if there really was no other option to get a cure.

Like torturing the prisoners to a maximum.

The more time he spent threading the more he became convinced there must be some trick to it. That, or it required an intense amount of training. If it was the latter, then he’d be facing a new problem. 

He’d deal with that when it came to it. His plate was full as it was. 

Once he got a hang of how to weave it in without wrecking the delicate structure of the first pattern, his gaze swept to the clock. It was long past midnight. Time for a small break. As much as he hated it, he didn’t want to use his clones yet again - he needed to figure this out more, firstly. If he had no real idea where to truly go with this, his clones’ works would just ramp up more exhaustion. More he needed to sleep off. Besides, this would not be so much of a break - though you were stable, he simply didn’t like the thought of leaving you alone. Not after your request - not after seeing you in your frightfully weak state. He had to check on you, as he promised.

He teleported back into your dimly lit room. Briefly, he gazed out of the window - the sky was clear, the moon shone bright and there were a million stars alongside it. It was beautiful. Silently, he walked to your bedside again to find you had your eyes closed. Finally - finally your face seemed peaceful. Gaunt, for sure, but not in pain. Tobirama settled down into his chair and laid his hand on yours, as lightly as he could to not wake you up. Very slowly he let his chakra skim over your network to find it dormant as well, pleased you still were asleep. Equally slow, he increased the connection to examine you as softly as possible. As usual, the injuries, microscopic tears, tissue damages and healing bits were too numerous to count. And there also was the general lack of reserves overall - a result from the strain put on you by the stretching of the interval no doubt. Even so, your cardiovascular situation was superior and no organ showed any sign of dysfunction. A pleasant surprise - compared to before, you were doing even better. Seems that aside from the exhaustion you had recovered well from their first stunt. He withdrew quickly before you could notice his presence and leaned back in his chair.

Had they gone by their normal schedule, you’d be left with four and a half days now. And Tobirama hadn’t even yet produced something that was anywhere near the leash. For all the grief it had put you through, it was a small victory. Admitting this felt wrong, though - despicable. It was the method. And he wasn’t sure how much time they’d gain from this, overall. His medical expertise wasn’t comparable to his brother’s, but he didn’t think you’d keep up lengthier intervals. Maybe if you’d been in peak physical condition.

He groaned slowly, rubbing a hand over his face.

Part of him didn't want to think anymore, now. He felt stretched out, thin. Spent. But of course, his mind wouldn't stop.

He vividly remembered the first time you went into withdrawal. The torment you had been going through. Just because you hadn’t been writhing or screaming now didn’t mean it was more bearable - no. You had been sedated this time. Tobirama was quite sure the whole procedure was hell for you, nonetheless, and all that kept you together was your unbreakable will to live.

If that ever faltered…

An ice-cold shiver ran down his spine. He closed his eyes. Already his heart pumped painfully against his ribcage, he had expected it. The all too familiar ache, the grief. The guilt.

I’ll take care of you. I’ll protect you.

It was all he could do. Though he caustically surmised, so far he had done a less than stellar job.

He returned to the lab as soon as his concentration felt up to the maddening task yet again. Having seen you again quite possibly helped a great deal to spur him on again despite the hour and how daunting it all felt - he just  had  to produce some kind of breakthrough now. He knew it. He could feel it. This is the way. He didn’t allow himself another break from the delicate weaving process until finally he inspected a vial containing both components now. Using his sensory skills he sent a weak, short-range chakra pulse through it.

The substance was not like the leash, no. If the leash was shining like a beacon, his copy was a torch, at least. It was progress, compared to the last time. He silently wondered if adding the second component had done this. Then came the next test - examining it directly. Again, the result was that his vial seemed inferior: while the chakra swirled in it in a quite complicated pattern, finely woven, he did distinguish the two different components after a little bit. The liquid made it difficult as it stayed ever in motion, but it was as though he was seeing two different colors.

It was a step forward, at least. He’d be testing this soon. Based on that - and the test subject’s blood work - he’d draw new conclusions. Still, there was more time to work on this vial further. The weaving itself was becoming something of a craft - with each moment he’d learn new tricks to it. A taxing one that seemed entirely focused on details, tiniest nudges and using small amounts of chakra at a time, but a craft nonetheless.

Had he not been so pressed for time, he might’ve actually found it interesting. But right now, all he felt was your torment breathing down his neck, wrenching his heart around and stealing his breath.

He wanted this over with.

It was early morning when he finished his work - not that he’d call it that, but he decided there was more merit to testing it out now. Even so, he’d check up on you again first. The world lurched with the use of his hiraishin seal, and a moment later he was in your room.

The first rays of dawn filtered in already, drenching the wooden hospital furniture in red hues once more. Low rustles were coming from your bed. Tobirama stepped over swiftly to find you stirring under the sheet irregularly, your head tilting from side to side. Briefly, he wondered if you were having a nightmare - but your eyes were open.

And recognizing him. “Tobirama,” you breathed, surprised.

“What’s wrong, Y/n?”, he inquired, wasting no time to step closer even, the worry already growing. 

“Just … trying to get more comfortable,” you whispered, attempting a weak smile. “Looks like my strength returned a little bit more.”

He frowned slightly. “Don’t force it.” He couldn’t have prevented the sternness from seeping into his voice if he wanted to.

You sighed. “No,” a light shake of your head, “Just help me get on my side. Please?”, you extended your left hand for him to take, which he did with a small sigh. At least that way you wouldn’t try to do it yourself. And while he was extremely  adamant, as Hashirama had eloquently put it, about your rest, it still tormented him to see you lacked the strength to turn on your side by yourself. Of course he knew it was common for patients in your condition - but this was you. He placed his right hand around where your hip and the small of your back would be under the blanket after his left had grasped your hand and pulled you towards him very slowly and gently so you tilted onto your side. You groaned a little, but sighed once you had adjusted to your new position.

“Thank you,” you hushed, meekly almost. The lack of strength was just as obvious to you. Tobirama took his seat at your side again and shook his head dismissively.

“Of course.” He still frowned, though. “How are you feeling?”

You closed your eyes and sighed again. “It’s… starting again. I can feel it. I’m feeling dizzy and… weaker.” Your voice shook from a slight tremble. Fear, Tobirama concluded.

He clenched his teeth and breathed through the tight feeling in his chest. “Y/n, we don’t need to stretch the interval as much-,”

“No,” you interjected firmly, eyes snapping open, giving him a sharp look. “We do. You know it. I know it.”

Now was Tobirama’s turn to close his eyes. “I don’t want you to suffer,” he whispered, his baritone voice near breaking again just from uttering these words and yet firm all the same. The tight feeling became worse

“I know,” you replied, haunted. “I know.” Your gaze was sorrowful. Knowing. Tobirama leaned forward to grasp your hand again and enclose it in his, letting his chakra coat your networks in the familiar, warm way. He didn’t know what else to do for your comfort. “Thank you,” you muttered again, forming yet another weak smile.

His head hung low as he simply basked in feeling you like this. The small nudge you were giving his sensitive network made him gasp slightly. 

The moment was interrupted by the door swinging open. Tobirama’s head shot up to find his brother standing in the doorway. Looking more rested than he himself did, most likely. When he had reapplied his face paint after washing himself, there definitely had been dark rings under his eyes.

“Good morning,” Hashirama announced warmly, rounding the bed to stand beside Tobirama when he realised you were on your right side. “How are you?”

As you explained your condition to him, Tobirama gently grazed over your chakra network once more before drawing back slowly to free your hand. He’d be on his way soon, anyway.

Hashirama nodded. “Very well. I singled out a few medications that should help us stabilize you, as I mentioned. It’d be best to take them while you’re still, ah, responsive.”

“You mean when I’m not spitting it back at you?”, you deadpanned. Tobirama near froze at the image. All he could think of was how his hand had forced your mouth open, then poured the torture drug in and forcefully constricted your airway to make you swallow it.

Hashirama cleared his throat. “Well, you haven’t managed that so far.” Tobirama snorted in quite a cynical way then, earning him an arched eyebrow from you. Hashirama shot each of you a meaningful glance before continuing slowly. “Still..., it might be necessary to draw additional seals to release the medications transdermally.”

Tobirama’s head whipped to the side to stare at his brother. “That will aggravate the overload.”

Hashirama held up his hands defensively already. “The seals I have in mind for this purpose only add very, very little of the user’s chakra to the patient.” Tobirama wasn’t quite convinced yet as his scowl indicated. But then forcing things down your throat wasn’t gentle, either. 

“And we’re also going to modify your nutrition, accommodating for the duress you find yourself in,” he added softly, but no less serious.

That made you snort now, but in a disgusted way. “Oh, I know what that’s going to taste like.” Every shinobi in the field on long missions knew that, in fact.

Tobirama wasn’t having any of it though. Already, he became riled up. “Y/n, we're not going to discuss-”

“I know, I know,” you already deflected exasperatedly, waving your free hand to calm him down. He leaned back in his chair then and crossed his arms, raising an eyebrow.

“Alright. Now that that’s out of the way,” Hashirama sighed, stepping closer to you. “May I?”, he extended his hand to take yours.

That was Tobirama’s clue. He wasn’t of any use here right now. He leaned closer to you yet again, expression mellowing. “I’ll be back soon, Y/n,” he promised for the lack of a better phrase. Anything else - anything mundane like ‘take care’ - just seemed wrong at this point. You nodded, trying another brave smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. Tobirama hoped his did.

He left the hospital to head straight for the interrogation and information headquarters, then, after having picked up his latest experiment with him.

It was already bustling with activity despite the early hour. Perhaps another mission finished. He didn’t dwell on it, really. Instead he headed to where he knew to find Ikuro; nodding towards the few familiar faces he made out. Apparently news about his task had made the round since nobody stopped him on his was through the small corridors past various offices. For a group that was euphemistically described as ‘interrogators’, everything seemed awfully quiet here. The walls must be thick. 

Ikuro indeed was behind the desk in the sparsely decorated office that adjourned the cell block holding the six prisoners. He greeted Tobirama with the oddly warm smile and a nod. “Back again,” his voice was quiet, deceptively soft.

“Back again.” Tobirama repeated, raising an eyebrow. Exchanging pleasantries was something he really had no time for - given his - your - predicament. Any waste of time felt like a crime at this point. And then again, he never liked chitchat much. “Any news?”

Ikuro shook his head. “Not regarding your problem, I’m afraid, given we know Zenji is the only one to interrogate about that. I take it you made progress, however.”

That was unsurprising. Despite all that happened, it had only been a day. A single day. “Something to test out, yes.”

Ikuro’s smile spread slightly. Tobirama wasn’t sure how to feel about that, but quickly decided he didn’t care enough to form an opinion just yet. “There is one question though,” his smile faded. Tobirama frowned. “Now that we know Zenji is the only one who knows how to make the leash, do you want to use it on him again? I know we did the last time, however, if we permanently injure him…” He trailed off, but Tobirama well caught the implication.

He crossed his arms then. A fair point that he hadn’t considered yet. Since there were six prisoners in total, he had more than enough test subjects to choose from. But picking Zenji had the additional possible merit of gleaning more information about the leash during the interrogation, at the cost of, well, risking him. It all boiled down to whether Tobirama was confident enough in his work to not harm a person permanently, or not.

He hated it. But, “The substance I brought with me today will be more aggressive than the one I used last time. So, no. Let’s pick someone else. If it works well, we’ll focus on him again.” He was set on giving that man hell until he gave up his secrets. Or Tobirama had figured it out himself. Either way.

Ikuro nodded then. “Alright. We’ll pay a visit to Kimi.” The smile was back again.

Tobirama instead scowled, his tone was dripping with sarcasm. “Why do I get the fleeting notion that is the loony one from the far end?”

Ikuro bellowed a sudden laugh that startled him, both eyebrows rising. He wouldn’t figure this man’s humour out, really. “You are as perceptive as they say, Tobirama.” Then he rose to full size and Tobirama followed with a sigh and a roll of his eyes. The walk down the cell block was accompanied by the well-known feeling of eyes on him. Not that Tobirama cared for those, either. Except for one pair. 

Zenji’s. His scarlet eyes darted to the side when they passed the middle cell. Tobirama was satisfied to find his black-bruised jaw was swollen. The look the man gave him was nothing short of hateful. He never broke his stride and followed Ikuro, surprised Zenji didn’t holler anything after him. Perhaps the jaw just hurt too much, hm.

Finally they reached Kimi’s cell. Like all the others, she also was chained up and sealed away. Her gaze seemed empty, staring a hole into the ceiling. That would soon change, Tobirama knew. Ikuro unlocked the cell. “Kimi,” he greeted warmly, like she was a friend.

“Go fuck yourself,” she shot back instantly but perfectly nonchalant. Tobirama’s eyebrows shot up. So much for friends. Her blue eyes locked with Tobirama’s. “Oh,” suddenly, her tone was infused with a shrill kind of adoration. “A high visitor!” Tobirama had to refuse the urge to cover his ears. “Tell me, tell me,” she chanted, swinging back and forth in the chains that held her. “How’s Y/n, how is she? Mhm?”, she exposed surprisingly bright teeth in a grotesque smile.

Tobirama didn’t even find her worth talking to; he could only roll his eyes and sigh exasperatedly. Enemies like this he knew to take serious - erratic behaviour covered up some of the most impressive techniques. But this wasn’t a fight. And he wasn’t about to try and converse with the likes of her. Not even in a cynical banter. He gazed at Ikuro. “Shall we?”

Kimi moaned loudly. “Awh, come on!”, it was an obscenely wanton sound. “Gimme a shred, please, please, please? I’m missing Y/n so, so much!”

Tobirama started to wonder if he had to break another jaw here. The ire that started to burn in his veins again surely provided enough fuel. His head tilted forward slightly as his stare narrowed, darkening.

Ikuro was already next to Kimi, shaking his head. He must’ve guessed at Tobirama’s thoughts - not that his body language wasn't enough of a giveaway. 

Kimi wasn’t helping her situation. “Tobirama Senju doesn’t find me worth talking tooo!”, she screamed then in a most offended way, loud enough for probably everyone in this building to hear. Not that she was wrong in any way. This woman would be better off without her vocal chords.

“Kimi,” Ikuro began, still sugary sweet. “You’re going to help us a little.” His hand seized the back of her head already, grasping her brown hair firmly.

She stiffened immediately, but the smile that spread over her lips now was nothing short of malicious. Typical, Tobirama figured - completely mad behaviour, but far from idiotic. “Oh.” It was a sharp sound. “My turn to get your itty-bitty-wannabe-leash?”

Tobirama’s mien remained completely impassive. “Are you going to open your mouth or are we going to have to force you, like your compatriot?”, entirely unfazed by threatening her with violence.

Not that she was fazed, either. And smart enough to know better than to put up a fight now. “I always wanted to taste the stuff, mhm,” she tried to nod her head, but Ikuro’s grip was iron already. “No need to break my jaw like dumb Zenji’s. Show me what y’got, Tobirama Senju, show me,” she then moaned again, lasciviously almost.

Tobirama’s lips drew into a disgusted scowl. “Good grief, how do you work with these people,” he scoffed. Ikuro was grinning widely. “I should’ve picked Zenji,” he added almost inaudibly. Kimi opened her mouth wide and stuck her tongue out, licking over her lower lip in distasteful ways. Still, he didn’t trust her for one second. And the contents of this vial were too precious for this maniac to spit back at him, which he was sure she would. His free hand seized her jaw tightly so that if she bit down, she’d seriously injure her cheeks. Kimi already spluttered. The moment Tobirama felt she wanted to speak more, he simply applied more pressure. He had enough of this nutcase.

Swiftly, he poured the contents of his vial into her mouth and in a well practiced move pressed down harshly on her nose and mouth to force her to swallow. Her eyes became glassy - luckily, he had been wise enough to keep her mouth shut, because he was perfectly sure she’d have licked his hand or done something equally disgusting had he not.

Not that much was needed. Obediently, she swallowed.

Followed by a shrill scream. Tobirama’s patience was a candle that burned on both ends at this point. He didn’t even put it past Kimi that this was precisely what she was aiming for but by all that he believed in, it worked. The woman let out a heavy tirade of sexually loaded metaphors about what she was seeing and feeling that might have turned a more innocent person bright red on the spot.

It elicited nothing but fast growing annoyance out of Tobirama, however. And Ikuro was grinning as he closed his eyes. He gave him a dark glare. The man had known, for sure. This better yielded good results. When he reached for her throat to examine her, his hand grasped so tightly Kimi’s voice got stuck in its tracks and all that remained was a small rivulet of obscenities at Ikuro, who had begun to invade her mind again. Squeaks, no more.

Much more bearable.

Now to examine her. He made no effort to be gentle about this whatsoever. Ikuro’s work was marvellous as before. Unsurprisingly, Kimi’s mental defense was nothing short of impressive. Perhaps Tobirama was imagining it, but Ikuro’s methods seemed different here - more brutal. More smothering. Akin to what he had done to Akio - less thought to the risk he was running. Was Ikuro himself fed up with her? The thought darkly amused Tobirama.

Kimi stayed completely stable throughout the whole procedure. Her chakra flow was almost as muted as yours was after indigestion of the leash, however it picked up again during the session. Tobirama had expected it, but with the additional experience in the whole weaving process, it gave him clues on how to improve on that. Briefly he stopped monitoring her to take a blood sample. Not an easy task as there was no patch of skin exposed save for her neck and head, so he had to go for the jugular artery as the veins would be collapsed. It bore a slight risk - but none that Tobirama even cared about. Unceremoniously he stabbed the needle in where he felt the pulse after having released his choke hold on her throat - an opportunity she used to gargle out profanities at both him and Ikuro, but the mental assault heavily impaired her ability to form coherent sentences. What was coherent by her standards anyway, Tobirama figured. After he had gotten what he needed from her neck, he continued to monitor her. The half-frozen state of her chakra remained steady for a while before it dropped more.

Ikuro began to retreat then, slowly. 

“Wait,” Tobirama instructed. His presence lingered then, still keeping Kimi in a mental choking hold.

As her chakra became less and less mute, the disruption kicked in more. And with it, for the first time there seemed to be genuine distress in the prisoner, indicated not by crude insults, but a genuine groan of pain. 

“Interesting,” Tobirama muttered, smugly, almost. Kimi whimpered while Tobirama took time to thoroughly investigate how her chakra tried to repel his disruption, over and over again - and each time, the reaction became worse for it, accompanied by a never ending stream of pained expressions. Watching the agony unfolding inside of her.

He felt no satisfaction, no. But he was pleased. A success, finally.

After a while of monitoring, he took another blood example. Ikuro was frowning now. “I’m not sure how much more she’ll take, mentally,” he announced.

“Well, physically, she’s well off. I won't say anything about her mental state, that has been debatable to begin with," Tobirama grunted. This was nothing compared to what you went through. The plight they ultimately had put you in.

Ikuro withdrew then, but Tobirama had to stay. After all, the disruption first had to fade at some point. He knew it would - this wasn’t the leash,  yet . But it was the right way. Slowly, Kimi’s body started to clear out the disruptive components alongside her chakra - another fascinating realisation that was different to when he had examined you. In you, the leash stuck - no matter how much your unmuted chakra and body battled it, it just kept on disruption and repelling it, thus causing the detrimental health effects. But Kimi’s cleared Tobirama’s out.

He withdrew then. Ikuro raised an expectant eyebrow. “She will be fine,” Tobirama announced, turning on his heels to leave the cell. He had new material to work with.

Ikuro followed swiftly after locking the cell containing the now limp Kimi.

The glare Zenji gave Tobirama now was decidedly murderous. Tobirama grinned back, darkly. Arrogantly. Zenji might as well know he was on their heels. His threats have not been empty. He almost had passed the cell, when Zenji’s strained voice echoed through the cell block: “Four more days, Tobirama fucking Senju,” the pain was obvious. Good. Nobody had healed the fracture, then. “Don’t think for a second you’re anywhere near perfection yet! Y/n’s gonna die so fucking miserably!”

Tobirama kept on walking, ignoring the new flare of ire in his veins. The urge to turn on his heels and break his jaw in new ways. Hell, rearrange his damned face. No, Zenji was beneath him he kept telling himself as he ground his teeth so hard his own jaws hurt. Back in the office, Ikuro closed the door. “I’m impressed, Tobirama.” His gaze was appreciative. For a split second, he believed this to be about reigning his temper in and was about to reply in a most impolite way to such a condescending remark, but he quickly realised this was not the case.

“Thanks.” Try as he might, he couldn’t keep the sarcasm out of his voice. The praise for his work was hollow when he reminded himself why he was doing this - and that it was far from perfect yet. “I’ll be back soon. I trust you didn’t learn anything pertaining to my task?”, not that he thought so, but he had to ask anyway.

“Sadly, no. It was a fruitful session, especially considering it was Kimi, but it seems Zenji’s slip up was not a false lead. She really does not seem to know about the leash’s creation.” Then, he frowned. “But, she adamantly guarded anything relating to the leash. Perhaps there is more to glean from her.

Tobirama’s eyes narrowed to slits. “Well, then we know to build up more pressure.” 

Ikuro nodded, surprisingly somber now. “Indeed. I’ll inform you if anything from the other prisoners might come up.”

Tobirama bowed slightly. “Thank you.” Ikuro was a good man to work with. 

A second later, the world lurched and the hiraishin seal transported him back to your room, where the little victory he celebrated dissipated swiftly.

The mood was dreary - and the innate hum he felt due to his sensory skills had picked up from the last time. It could only mean one thing. By now it was high noon and the sun’s light reflected off of the room’s pale furniture. Hashirama’s back was turned to him but the blanket was pushed aside - revealing your marred legs. On them, more seals, which he couldn’t make out precisely at this distance. Instantly, Tobirama rounded your bed swiftly, to find Hashirama working on the heart seal. Still, he couldn’t help but gasp when he saw your whole form revealed like this: a shadow of your former self and almost no part of you that didn’t bear a barely healing mark of torture. It didn’t deter him from analysing the situation, but it’d never fail to drive a proverbial blade through his heart.

Your breaths were quick and shallow again and Tobirama was sure to hear a rumble in there. Not good. Your lung was affected. Combined with the fact your body definitely was paler than before and the sheen of sweat that covered your skin, the situation was obvious.  You didn’t move - and in your face, the grimace of pain was etched into your skin.

It was worse than before. And they hadn’t stretched the interval as much as before, yet.

Hashirama’s gaze swept up to him when he had finished what Tobirama guessed was strengthening the seal that supported your heart. His mien was grave. “We can’t wait much longer.” He gave Tobirama a quick rundown of what had happened: the withdrawal had kicked in again as before, but the symptoms developed faster, and more severe. As he had guessed, your lung was starting to suffer damage not just on the slight, microscopic level Tobirama had witnessed during the first stretch but in a greater margin. Your cardiovascular system required more support as your heart struggled, too. He still hadn’t intervened directly, yet.

Tobirama swallowed finally and nodded and nodded. Then, he looked down on your legs. Each bore another seal meant for transdermal release of the agents the seal in the middle was soaked in. “You drew more seals?” he inquired, terse again.

“We had to,” Hashirama explained, his hand back on your arm and his eyes closed. “Her lucid intervals are too short to ensure her taking the medication by herself. This is more effective and safer.”

“Safer?”, Tobirama shot back, sternly. “There are six seals on her now. Which means we barely have any room for additional chakra based options, if any, without overloading her.”

Hashirama clicked his tongue. “I am well aware, Tobirama,” a slight hint of strain had snuck into his voice now. But instead of angering him, it did the opposite - Tobirama realised how serious your condition was for his brother to even let a sliver of exasperation slip into his tone. And besides. He didn’t say any more.

All they were doing here - it was all dangerous. Too dangerous. They were running into dead ends, either way - be it the leash or the withdrawal of it. And to make you suffer, for a few precious hours? Tobirama swallowed hard against the shortness of breath that gripped this thorax tightly suddenly. “Anjia, I don’t think we should continue. Y/n is suffering and I -,” he swallowed again as his scarlet gaze swept to your face and the hurt in his heart was near unbearable again, “I cannot condone this.”

Hashirama’s eyes flew open and he gave Tobirama a deep frown. “She doesn’t want us to stop. So don’t.”

His gaze wandered to his brother, frowning himself now. “If she dies from the withdrawal, then it was pointless,” he nearly growled, voice stern again, if just to cover up for the gaping hole that the ache was boring into his chest in a most agonizing way.

“She’s not dying. Have more faith in me, Tobirama - and most importantly, her,” he gazed back at you then, voice becoming softer, fonder. Tobirama would never fail to be amazed by his brother’s optimism.

In a very sarcastic way.

“I’m not doubting you or her, anija,” and the sheer notion of him doing so did well enough to distract him from the terrible heartache simply for how furious it made him, “What I am doubting is what we’re up against - effects of something I haven’t fully understood yet or been able to recreate!”

Hashirama took a sharp breath. “On the other hand, we can evaluate her condition, react accordingly and adjust the figurative sails. We will not run a risk. You said so yourself. That, we do know.”

Tobirama looked back on your tormented form. Then he closed his eyes slowly. He hated it - he hated all of this - but he knew, deep down, he knew it - they’d need to continue down the path they had chosen. All of this - it would end soon. Either way. All he could do was to ensure it ended favourably, swiftly. And for as long as it lasted he’d need to remind himself of the promise he had made to you. No matter what. If Hashirama found your condition stable enough to continue - he’d trust him. He had no other choice but to.

“How much longer until the next dose?”, Tobirama asked then, the numb feeling spreading again. He welcomed it. The numbness muted all of the grief, of the ache. His focus returned.

“Not much. Might as well prepare it.” Hashirama instructed, politely refraining from commenting on Tobirama’s falter further.

He nodded and made for doing just that. Not twenty minutes later, they administered it - again, you were stirring from the force with which Tobirama had to pry your mouth open to pour the hated liquid in. The pained way in which you groaned echoed quietly in the sparsely furnitured room as he focused on not spilling a drop while gripping your jaw with vice strength again and holding it open. Uttering apologies he knew you couldn’t hear but he made nonetheless. After he made you swallow it you stilled again.

It had whatever brief respite - if it could’ve been called that - they had gained by stretching the intervals and thus making for more time null. Impressively, it had been shown you paid the price in proverbial blood and if it continued, literal blood might follow.

Tobirama’s only rest would be when he literally crashed, now.

[kuramirocket]

Growing up in California in my grandmother's house, surrounded by tías, tíos, and all my cousins, I always felt a deep connection to my Mexican-American roots. Every generation of my father's family has had incredibly different experiences that reflect much about American history. 

My great-grandfather on my abuela's side, Daniel Martinez, grew up in Mexico and immigrated to Los Angeles. Eventually, he saved enough money to open a neighborhood market, which is where he met my great-grandmother, Guadalupe Miranda Martinez. She had come from Mexico to Los Angeles with her mother and brother as a young teenager. They soon married and began having children. When he lost his business in the 1920s, the family turned to migrant farm work. They were forced to use segregated water fountains and bathrooms and my darker-skinned tíos and tías were sent to Mexican schools, while those with light skin and blonde or red hair were allowed to attend schools with white students.

Unhappy with the segregated schools, my great-grandfather joined up with other families to open the East Barrio School for Latinos in Claremont, CA — fighting the status quo is part of my heritage! They taught reading and writing in Spanish and learned Mexican history at a time when it was hard to show pride about being Mexican.

My great-grandfather on my abuelo's side, Catalino Alba, came from Mexico during the Revolution. He met my great-grandmother when he immigrated to Gallup, NM, where he helped build the Santa Fe Railroad. He was a musician and inspired my abuelo José Alba to sing, practice traditional Mexican dance, and become an accomplished classical guitarist. As a child, there was never a family party where my abuelo didn't play guitar while my abuela, tíos and tías, and cousins sang along. Perhaps this is where I got my love for the performing arts!

My great-grandfather moved to San Bernardino, CA, to work on the railroad and my abuelo José Alba grew up in the barrio where he and his siblings slept head to foot. With little food at home, he often asked the neighbors for fruit from their fruit trees. He was compelled to eat dirt, which he later learned was a natural response to the lack of iron that he needed in his diet. As a kid, he wasn't allowed to swim in a public pool without a certification of vaccination. He would often get glass stuck in his shoes because the soles were so thin and worn out — he couldn't afford anything else. At one point, glass punctured his foot, and as a result he developed lockjaw, which was nearly fatal.

When he could work, he made money selling oranges and picking potatoes. He says the first thing he did when he had money was to go down to Main Street to have his shoes shined by a young boy. He told that boy that he would come every week because he knew he was trying to make his own way too.

There were 12 kids in the family and my abuelo is proud that his mom figured out a way to send them to school as soon as it was possible. She understood the value of education. Even though it was hard for them, she made it a priority.

This is my abuelo and abuela's wedding above — so classic. I always thought our ancestors were Spanish, but I learned through genetic testing that they were Native American, with roots that may go back as far as the Mayan civilization. We've been here from the beginning!

My parents, Mark and Catherine Louisa Alba, were so different . . . but they had the same hairstyle! I know that when my dad was growing up it was difficult for him and his parents to be Mexican-American. The hyphen wasn't an option back then.

My abuelo had only learned English when he transferred to grammar school at around 6 years old, and he was way behind as a result. Like many others of their generation, my grandparents didn't teach their children, including my dad, to speak Spanish. My abuelo says that he didn't even think about it, but I wonder if he associated it with a difficult transition in his life.

I want my girls to embrace their Latino roots, know how much we have contributed to this country, and understand that the road ahead is richer when we acknowledge and embrace our heritage. I want them to learn Spanish like their great-grandparents. I'm incredibly proud of my diverse heritage and I want my daughters to feel the same way.

Jessica Alba is something of a triple threat: She's managed to achieve major success as an actress, fashion designer, and business mogul. It's hard to imagine anyone not wanting to work with Alba, but early in her career she had a hard time getting roles because of her race.

"They couldn't figure out my ethnicity," Alba said. "I would always go out for 'exotic.' They were like, 'You're not Latin enough to play a Latina, and you're not Caucasian enough to play the leading lady, so you're going to be the "exotic" one.' Whatever that was."

Of course, Alba eventually ended up starring in hits like Fantastic Four, Into the Blue, and Good Luck Chuck. So, yeah, it's safe to say she proved those people wrong.

And not only is this actress leading by example; she's also taking steps to change the game herself. The creation of Alba's cosmetics line, Honest Beauty, which she founded as part of her brand, The Honest Company, in 2015, stemmed from her own struggles as a young girl trying to find a foundation that matched her unique complexion. "I didn't feel like, when I was younger, that there were a lot of things offered to women of color," she said.

So Alba went out and made her own. "The philosophy around starting this beauty line is about enhancing who you are instead of cover up and turn you into somebody else," she said.

Jessica Alba’s startup The Honest Company is a veritable success — approaching over $350 million in sales during a year in which many companies struggled — but venture capitalists turned up their noses to the idea at first.

In 2009, Alba had a real issue: She couldn’t find baby products for her newborn that were guaranteed to be safe and eco-friendly. After having an allergic reaction to one of the allegedly baby-safe detergents she bought, she developed her idea the same way many successful entrepreneurs get started: She pitched building the solution she herself wished was on the market.

Alba pitched serial entrepreneur Brian Lee on her idea, who reportedly passed after saying it wasn't “very promising.” The feeling that others don’t see potential in you or your business idea is a familiar frustration for budding entrepreneurs. At the time, Alba remarked that she felt nobody took her seriously as an entrepreneur, or even believed in her idea, even though she knew there would be demand. 

But just five years later, The Honest Company reached unicorn status, valued at over one billion dollars. What changed in those five years that let her take her failed pitch to becoming a success story?

To perfect your pitch, experiment

Fast forward to 2012. Alba is now in Washington, lobbying for an update to reform the 1976 Toxic Substances Control Act. Buoyed by her growing knowledge on the subject, she went back to Lee and pitched him again.

This time, her deck was much more concise, down to less than 30 minutes from start to finish. In a world where most entrepreneurs give up after a rejection or two, Alba instead had spent the years between their two meetings pitching her idea to friends, getting holes poked in her positioning,and answering each and every supply chain question that arose. 

Another change had happened over the last three years: Venture capitalists like Lee, whom she was pitching, had all started young families. Alba’s pitch was rock solid, and as an added bonus her prospective investors wanted the product themselves. 

Lee said yes to the second pitch. The first year The Honest Company was in business, it reported an astonishing $12 million in revenue, a number that has only increased each year. After facing initial rejection on her pitch, Alba’s decision to persevere has led The Honest Company to dramatic success.

At first, everyone told Alba she should start with one product, then expand once that was successful. But this didn’t gel with Alba’s vision of a complete line of baby-safe products; the founder knew parents who wanted clean products wanted a brand that could provide multiple solutions.

Ultimately, Alba ignored the conventional advice and launched with 17 products, which many people believed was too many. But because she didn’t compromise on that, either to venture capitalists or herself, the launch was a total success.

Sources: (×) (x) (x) (×)

[radnewworld]

If you ever decide to run a kickstarter of your own, here is a valuable lesson: if you leave your supporters in the dark for nigh on two years about your project and then return with something completely different, it will cost you a not insignificant amount of good will.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNFMJMBZJ9g

I invested in Matt Colville’s first kickstarter because it promised a useful book and, if the funds were sufficient, he’d stream a game. It’s one thing to hear someone give you GM advice, but to see it in live practice? That’s tantalizing. And it was good when it kicked off! The Chain had good characters, an interesting setting, and a good plot... And you got to see Mr Colville go through his process live. You could see the mistakes and how he fixed them. That’s valuable and I would highly suggest anyone interested in the GM’s craft to watch it.

But then it went on hiatus. Three months or so, they say... That was two years ago, give or take a month. Covid’s certainly played a part in that, but Mr Colville’s group only offered a couple of updates during that time and nothing of substance. He did a sort of one-shot half session with one player and ended the video with, “the Chain will return.” Cool, I thought. I can wait. It’s not dead. That little update bought my continued good will for the project. That was December of 2019.

And today, he uploaded the above video. The Chain will return, but not the stream. No no... The game will continue as a clipshow, where we see the ‘best’ funny and dramatic bits and then he’ll do a campaign diary to tell us what happened. We go from seeing the actual process to a digest format. Some players were uncomfortable with being on camera and the streaming format was too stressful for Mr Colville, it was revealed... But he’s also been streaming a different DnD game all-together on Twitch, but that one’s not stressful because there were basically no viewers due to it not being announced.

I’m genuinely pissed about it. It’s kept me up all night. I am that angry... And doubly so because I wouldn’t be angry at all if there had been some updates to tell us that there were problems to solve. His rationales for the changes are reasonable, so why wait so bloody goddamn long to tell us? Matt Colville has a website, a giant youtube following, discord, Twitch, twitter, kickstarter emails, an email mailing list! Every tool was at his fingertips and he used none of them.

Fuck.

If you are planning on running a kickstarter, keep your supporters updated. You don’t have to reveal the minutes of a meeting or show emails... Just let your supporters know if something has come up or gone wrong or just that you’re still working on it. That little bit of contact once every couple of months is worth so much good will and if you don’t do it folks will feel like you’ve pulled the rug out from underneath them if/when the scope or product needs a significant change.

[blahblahwritings]

Contracts and Captains. - IV

A/N: Remember how I posted something before one of my other fics saying that I had been consistently updating for weeks? Neither do I lmao who was she? Don’t know her anyway heres the fourth chapter of this black sails fic.

Words: 1823. Honestly I’ve been writing this since about 12pm I don’t know how its so short and its probably shit bc I haven’t written anything in months.

Warnings: Mentions of vomit as per the last chapter. Think thats it lmao. See you in three months.

As your eyes opened, there were a blissful couple of seconds where the previous night’s encounter didn’t exist in your memory. But, just like the sun flooding the room, unwanted flashes of vomit and slurred words rose like a tidal wave in your minds eye. You rolled over, burying your face and groaning into the pillow out of sheer embarrassment as a dull throbbing started in the depths of your skull. 

Why did you keep drinking? You could’ve simply had one or two before retiring for the night and you wouldn’t have met that boatswain or thrown up on your own boots. What was his name again? Ben? Boyd? No, they weren’t quite right. Either way you made a mental note to apologise again whenever you next saw him. 

Slowly, you tugged your still clothed limbs from the thin sheets, trying not to jostle your stomach too much for fear of whatever was left in there making an unwelcome appearance. Your pants were scuffed from where you took a tumble outside the tavern, your shirt was half undone, probably from a failed attempt to undress before not-so-gracefully falling into bed. A single boot was thrown on the floor alongside your coat, the other still stuck on your foot. What a mess. 

A hot bath, that's what you needed, and a hearty breakfast if your insides don’t bring it back up. Pulling on the other boot, you made your way to one of the girls working downstairs, trading her coin to fill the tub in your room. You must’ve looked rough as you passed her to get to the man at the bar because when he turned to look at you, his brows shot up, disappearing behind his hair. 

“You look like you could use a little hair of the dog, love.” He chuckled, eyes scanning your disheveled form. A grimace was your immediate response. “Some food then.” He offered, filling a bowl with something that you didn’t stop to look at as you practically inhaled it. The man watched you with a knowing smirk and had you not felt so terrible you’d have spat out a snarky comment. You chose to gulp down your water instead.

“Thank you.” You huffed with a small nod, tossing some money on the counter before you headed back upstairs. The state you were in just added to this morning's growing list of regrets but you weren’t quite sure if you cared how you looked to anyone else right now. All that was on your mind was a piercing headache and a good soak.

Stripping off, you stepped into the water, sinking down slowly as your body got used to the heat. Finally, with a heavy sigh, you rested your head on the back of the tub, your aching muscles beginning to relax. Scented oils and soaps were left on a stand by the bath. Working a generous amount between your palms, you massaged your limbs and torso getting rid of any tension and purging the memories of last night’s… festivities. In the quiet of your room, you took a moment to trace the small scars that littered your form, fingers landing at last on the freshly healed knife wound from only a few weeks ago. The soft pink flesh was still tender, and if you moved the wrong way it would ache. It was dangerous to be alone on this island, in this line of work. You needed friends, not just contacts. A crew, perhaps. 

Letting your mind wander, you thought about your new found place among Flint’s men. You had to keep bringing in leads to be of any value to him, lest you risk being tossed aside and left in the dirt. He and his crew were among the most revered on the island, therefore cementing your part in that would bring security. It would ensure that other crews would leave you alone, as you were important to someone they feared and the consequences of harming you could be severe. 

Then again, there was a little more than security on your list of perks as you thought more about the taller man from last night. He was kind to you, not that the others weren’t having bought your drinks and all, but, he made sure you were safe and fed. Billy Bones. You recalled. Replaying the meeting in your head, you winced at the slurred introduction and the puking soon after. Why did you care about how he saw you? Was it because he was the crew’s boatswain or because he was handsome and softer than most pirates you’d met. 

Catching that last thought, you shook it from your head, refusing to let it take root in your brain. Attachments like that are a weakness here and you cannot afford to have those. You’d only met the guy once and he probably didn’t want anything to do with you anyway, especially after that drunken show you gave him. Cupping a handful of water, you splashed your face, scrubbing any further thoughts of the man from your head, instead, choosing to focus on finding a new lead for Flint. 

They would be leaving to chase down the details you gave him yesterday in a couple of days, if not sooner, which meant you probably had around two weeks to find something of substance upon their return. You’d struggled last time but after sending out letters to old friends in neighbouring ports, you were hopeful something would turn up. 

Padding your way to the dresser, you pulled out some fresh clothes and got ready, feeling much better than you did even an hour before. The food had settled your stomach and the water you guzzled seemed to bring some life back into your face as when you left to go hunt down some work, the barman from earlier spouted something along the lines of ‘A whole other woman’ when you walked by.

---

An uneventful morning led to an uneventful afternoon. There were no new letters or leads and the streets were pleasantly calm compared to usual. You certainly weren’t complaining, you had been feeling better since this morning but your body was still recovering. The easy day was probably just what you needed. You were sat on the beach, sipping some water and watching passersby as you sketched in the journal you kept.

It was something you’d taken to keeping since arriving in Nassau just over two years ago. A small leather book to help keep track of potential jobs and record anything interesting that happened. Really, though, you just loved to draw. You’d already filled a couple just like it with sketches of people, ships and landscapes that caught your eye, often accompanied by your messy scrawl. You were just about satisfied with your latest addition when Mr Gates clapped you on the shoulder making you jump and slam the journal closed. You’d never shown anyone the contents before. 

“Sorry, Miss Devereux, didn’t mean to startle you.” He began, chuckling lightly at your reaction. “I heard you and the lads had quite the night..” He moved to stand by you as you got to your feet, dusting the sand from your pants. Tucking away the book, an amused smirk finds its way to your face as you look at him. 

“Depends on who you ask.” You replied. “How were they this morning? Feeling sorry for themselves?” Your brows raised in question as you both started aimlessly wandering along the shore. A snort met your ears as his head fell forwards, looking at the ground then back at you. “I didn’t see the majority of them until at least noon and they were still in a sorry state, although I wonder how you must’ve been. I heard that you hurled your guts up right after meeting our boatswain.” Gates mused, eyes crinkling as he watched your entire face turn a lovely shade of red. You tried to keep your cool but your expression faltered into one of sheer embarrassment. Apparently, this was hilarious as Mr Gates exploded into a fit of hearty laughter, and as much as you told him to stop you couldn’t help but have a good chuckle yourself as you covered your face with a half-sandy palm at the thought.

When you both regain your composure, he gives you a reassuring pat on the back.

“Don’t worry, the only people who know are Billy and myself, the men still think you can hold your drink.” He winked. You made a move to argue that you could in fact hold your drink but he began talking about the plan to set sail the day after tomorrow. You listened intently and explained that you were awaiting correspondence from friends in other ports to supply more promising leads upon their return. 

---

It had been four days since the crew left in search of another haul using your most recent information. Nothing out of the ordinary had happened, you’d made some money here and there through smaller jobs and pickpocketing but overall, there was nothing of real interest. You spent the days reading anything you could get your hands on or drawing and you’d even had your eye on some paints in one of the markets, but all you could do was wait. Checking for mail at the front desk of the inn you were staying at every morning had become a routine, desperate for any work or ships that you could relay to Flint. It was on the fifth day that you had gotten a response from someone in Port Royal.

As you read over the letter for the third time, you could feel your eyes widen in disbelief, your heart hammered in your chest and you released a breath you didn’t know you were holding. This was far too good to be true. Surely this was a myth. A prize of this magnitude was simply unheard of. Your eyes scanned over the paper again, barely able to focus on the words because your hands were trembling so violently. Calm down. You told yourself. It can’t be the truth. You thought as you stared at the other envelope that had arrived alongside it. At the bottom of the letter it read:

“P.S

Should you doubt my information, I sent you the correspondence shared between the dead man and the merchant with evidence pertaining to this gold. Best not ask how it came into my possession.

Your dear friend,

Josiah.”

You ran to shut the windows to your room and close the drapes. If anyone found out you had this information and the evidence to go with it, you would surely be killed for it. Tearing open the paper, you unfolded its contents. It was all here. The initials of the merchant, R.P., details alluding to the existence of this gold and the name of the dead man involved in plotting the course it would be on. 

Vasquez.

[awhitehead17]

Universal Signs

Chapter 13 / Previous Chapter

Also on AO3

A/N: This story is still alive, I promise! I apologise for not updating sooner, it wasn't intentional that I leave this story for 3 months before updating it, so again I apologise. As a warning, there is a character being sick and a bit of violence at the end.

Enjoy! :D

It wasn’t surprising when they find Tim sleeping next to them on the seat. The human had his eyes closed, face buried into the blanket covering him and was letting out the occasional puff of air through his nose.

Kon observes that Tim looks different when he’s sleeping compared to when he’s awake. While sleeping his face and body were relaxed, any tension he’s feeling is non-existent and he looks at peace. When Tim’s awake Kon could see how the human holds himself tightly, like he’s expecting to be attacked or expecting something to happen to him even after all this time. It’s sad that the human only ever seems to be truly relaxed when he's sleeping.

Deciding that Tim obviously needs his rest, (again why do humans sleep so much?) he gets up and carefully picks Tim up. He uses his telekinesis to stabilise the body as he begins to carry him out of the room. Tim lets out a high pitched noise and much to Kon’s surprise the human seems to curl in towards him instead of trying to get away.

He takes Tim to his room and gently places him down on the bed, once he’s let go Kon covers him with the blanket, making sure it’s tucked in around him. The human sighs and relaxes again, as if satisfied with the new arrangements even in his sleep.

Happy that Tim hasn’t woken up and continues to sleep peacefully Kon leaves the human’s room and heads back to the common room where his crew were still watching the entertainment screen.

“Tim’s asleep.” Kon states as he settles into his original seat. The other two turn to him and nod at the obvious statement.

“There's a lot going on for him at the moment,” Bart says frowning with concern, “I can’t imagine what he went through being held captive at the hands of the Demon’s Head.”

“Nothing good that’s for sure.” Cassie comments. “I always heard stories while on Themyscira about how much of a monster the Demon’s Head is, they always warned us to stay clear of the League no matter what.”

Kon can relate to that. There were similar stories and warnings said on Krypton too, by the way Bart is nodding he’s had similar experiences on Keystone as well. Kon really rather not get involved with the League of Assassins if he can help it, Rao knows what punishment will be inflicted on Kon and his team if the leaders found out about Tim and his involvement with them.

He has to praise Tim however, even though the human has obviously been through a hard and tough time, he still in fact managed to escape the clutches of the League, something that isn’t heard of. A human had managed to escape the universal assassins. That isn’t going to go down well meaning Tim has a target on his back and knowing the League, they aren’t going to stop until they find him.

There’s something special about this human. Kon doesn’t know what it is, but perhaps he’s drawn to Tim in a similar way that the Demon’s Head was, however Kon’s intentions were to help Tim, not enslave him.

“Now we know about this, we can be alert and we can protect Tim to the best of our abilities.” Kon declares looking at his team. Admittedly he's grown attached to Tim, he doesn’t know why but since the very start all he's wanted to do is help the human. He’s protective over him, wanting to return him home after he was wrongfully kidnapped from Earth and forced into something awful that no species should ever have to endure.

Cassie shakes her head. “There is word out already about a human in this part of the galaxy, meaning species are going to be weary and suspicious no matter what. Whether we like it or not, it won’t be long until the League catches up to us, we’re lucky we haven’t encountered them yet.”

Kon sends her a hard glare. “What do you suggest then? We’ve already had this conversation and we know the League are coming. By the time they reach us, we could already be back on Krypton, safe and sound and somewhere where they won’t attack us.”

Cassie returns the look, not backing down. “And what do you think the leaders are going to do as soon as they find Tim? If The League wants Tim, the leaders won’t hesitate to hand him over to ensure no wars or conflict happen, they have no reason to protect a human. Not only that, what about us? We’re going to be punished, severely, after they find out what we’re doing.”

“It’s not like we can abandoned him Cassie.” Bart joins in the conversation, the Speedster looks between the two of them. “It’s not his fault they’re after him, we’re all he has until we can get him home. Of course having the League on our tail isn’t ideal, but I suggest we keep going, if something happens then it happens. We deal with the situation as and when we need to.”

Kon silently thanks the Speedster for his support. He understands Cassie’s concerns but Tim doesn’t deserve to be just abandoned on some planet and left alone to defend for himself. With his lack of knowledge on the universe, he wouldn’t survive more than a couple days on his own.

Cassie’s gaze darts between them, clearly thinking about the options there are. Both Bart and Kon are set on helping Tim out in this situation and will do everything to maintain his safety, even if that means risking their own. She knows she’s outnumbered.

Eventually she sighs in resignation. “Okay fine, I have gone along with it until now and will continue to do so, but know I still think whole situation is going to end badly for all of us. What do we do now?”

“Continue as normal,” Kon says, “we carry on collecting the items, which we have almost completed now anyway, and then proceed to Krypton. Once there we work on getting Tim home safely.”

“If the League make an appearance?”

“Then we deal with it.”

A heavy silence falls between them all as a new threat looms over their mission. Kon has to admit that he never expected as big as problems they are facing now after picking Tim up, however it wasn’t one he could change so he has to deal with the consequences of his actions.

“Exactly!” Bart suddenly exclaims. He jumps up to his feet and waves his arms in the air in a show that he's back to his usual energetic-self. “We do what we always do: roll with it, take each mission at a time. We’ve had problems before and have never let that stop us!”

Kon takes a breath and decides to change the topic. At this point they were just repeating the conversation. “Right, so Cassie, how long until we reach the next planet?”

-------

Their next stop happens to be on one of the busier planets in this part of the galaxy. It’s one of those places where you stop as you’re passing through, whether that is a break from flying, whether your ship needs repairs, or your team needs to stock up on items. There are many different species are constantly coming and going from here and a good benefit to the planet is that there are many different markets full of a variety of items throughout the universe.

As he’s done many times before, Kon parks the ship down in an allotted area and shuts the ship down before turning to his team who were sat at the table behind him.

“We’re here for the seventh item we need to collect for the leaders.” He states walking over to them, he stands before them and leans against an unused chair, looking at them individually. “We’re now on the planet Athoes, known mostly for its trading business and markets in the galaxy. This will be a good opportunity to stock up on items we need on the ship too.”

Cassie and Bart nod in understanding while Tim blinks at him. At this point it wasn’t surprising any more, they had only woken the human up from his sleep just before landing, they’ve learnt that it takes some time before he’s functioning normally again after waking up.

“The item we need to collect is called Forin, this is a liquid substance that originates from the planet itself. Now I don’t know where we’ll find this, but it should be somewhere in the market.”

Cassie leans back in her chair looking thoughtful. “So we split up? Go in twos and try to find the Forin as well as getting stuff for the ship at the same time? We can meet back here sometime later to see what we’ve gathered, and go from there.”

Kon nods seeing no problems with that plan. “Tim, you can come with me.” He tells the human who is only beginning to look more alert now. In response Tim merely nods. Kon turns to his team mates, “Be careful, especially with everything that's going on, just be alert for anything.”

Cassie rolls eyes while Bart grins and nods, before becoming serious. “Take care of yourselves as well. If they are looking for us then we all need to be prepared.”

Kon nods, listening to his friend’s words. After that the four of them leave the cockpit and prepare to leave the ship for their next collection mission.

Exiting the ship they spilt off into pairs, Kon and Tim as one pair and Cassie and Bart as the other. Kon had wanted to keep an eye on Tim, especially after everything he learned about the human earlier, plus leaving him alone with Cassie didn’t feel right considering how wound up the Amazon is over the situation. No offense to Bart, but Kon couldn’t trust him to not leave Tim on his own. The Speedster would get too excited over something, zip away and accidently abandoned Tim as he does so.

He and Tim walk around in silence for a long time. The human seemed to have an aura around him which is telling Kon to back off. Tim’s face seemed to be set in a scowl and as they travelled through many of the markets on the planet, nothing seemed to interest him.

Kon shakes his head, human’s and their moods are very confusing. It didn’t help that Tim wasn’t talking, Kon had no idea on what he could say or do to try and make things better for Tim. He has no idea on what Tim went through during his time with the League, obviously nothing good, but Tim had been fine up until they told him about who exactly it was that he was kidnapped by.

Kon didn’t like this version of Tim. He wasn’t smiling, or grumbling to himself about ‘space is fucking weird’ or even taking an interest in their new surroundings.

Perhaps his mood switch was because of the information he now knows? The sleep he had earlier hadn’t helped for whatever reason, maybe Kon should try and get Tim to talk about it. Like that time he did about when he shared his story about when he was kidnapped from Earth. Bart had said talking is supposed to help after all.

He comes out of his thoughts and finds Tim a few steps behind him, Kon waits for the human to catch up before walking again, this time making sure to stay at the same pace as Tim. “Are you okay? How was your sleep?” He asks in the end, finally breaking the silence between them.

Tim sends him a dark look, one that immediately tells Kon he wasn’t alright. Tim’s tone was clipped and short when he snaps at Kon. “I’m fine.”

Kon frowns. “Are you sure, you seem off. Is there anything you want to talk about?”

“There is nothing to talk about, back off Kon.”

Kon knows that isn’t right. Nothing to talk about? Is Tim being oblivious to what’s going on, or does he not care? Or could he just be grouchy still because he hasn’t woken up yet?

“Well if you do want to talk, I’m happy to listen Tim.” Tim’s disbelieving snorts makes him huff. “What now?”

Tim lets out a low chuckle and shakes his head. “It’s funny that’s all. You know, while talking does help with things, it doesn’t solve anything or make the problems go away.” He looks at Kon, his eyes glinting a sharp blue as they observe him for a moment before turning away again. “What I’m going through is hard to describe, my mood changes constantly and being in a completely foreign environment isn’t helping.”

Kon looks away from the human and focuses on all the different species around them as travel through the market. He doesn’t know how to respond to that.

Tim sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “I appreciate what you’re trying to do Kon, I appreciate everything you have done, I really do but sometimes it’s just…” he trails off with a wave of his hand.

Kon wants to comment about it, ask for further detail but the scowl on Tim’s face hasn’t disappeared so Kon refrains from asking. He has a feeling the situation will only worsen if he does ask. Humans are certainly a very confusing species.

They travel through the market and even explore another one in silence. Kon takes the lead while Tim follows him around, clearly not knowing what to do or what to look for. To his frustration Kon doesn’t find any Forin, he hopes Cassie and Bart are having more luck than he is.

More time goes by and it’s only a little bit before they have to head back to the ship to meet the others. By that point Kon still hadn’t had any luck collecting Forin but fortunately he’s been able to pick up different items for the ship which they need.

Tim’s mood hadn’t changed during that time either. He still hadn’t really spoken to Kon and still seemed disinterested in everything around them. Kon had been able to get him to smile at one point though. They had passed a stall which sold some familiar looking treats from Krypton. Unable to pass up the opportunity Kon brought some and excitedly offered them to Tim. They were little colourful squares mixed up of different flavours,

The human seemed cautious at first and after a smell he put one in his mouth. Moments later Kon beamed at the blissful expression that crossed over Tim’s face. The two of them shared the treats between them, only barely managing to save a couple for Bart and Cassie, before they continued searching the market.

On the journey back to the ship, Kon doesn’t stop looking at the variety of stall around the markets, he’s still keeping his eyes open for the Forin. One stall in particular makes him stop however, they didn’t have what he needed but these items looked intriguing. They were black bands of sorts, each having a different design and looked like they were made of a stiff material. If Kon had to guess these bands could be worn on a wrist or ankle.

Kon’s mildly aware of Tim hovering around next to him. The human is clearly waiting for Kon to be done with the stall so they could continue heading back to the ship.

He’s in the middle of a discussion with the stall’s owner to purchase one of the bands, when he suddenly feels rapid tapping on his shoulder. Kon glances over his shoulder to find Tim’s hand repeatedly hitting him while his focus is on the crowd in the market.

“Tim?” Kon says, turning to fully face the human.

Tim’s eyes instantly snap to him as he speaks and the tapping immediately ceases. The human levels him with a hard look. “Kon we need to go.”

Kon shoots him an odd look before turning away to face the owner again. “Yeah one moment Tim.” He definitely wants one of those bands, if Tim could just wait a few moment then they can continue back to the ship.

Tim lets out a huff. “No Kon. We need to go, like right now.”

Sighing Kon turns back to Tim to find him once again staring out into the crowds within the market. He takes a moment to observe the human, finding him more tense than usual (that’s pretty impressive considering what he’s been like all day). Kon picks up on the frantic edge that Tim’s voice has taken.

Something’s must be wrong. Tim’s still staring out into the distance so Kon follows his eyeline and freezes on the spot, now understanding the context to Tim’s words.

Through the crowds they spy a green-skinned being, maybe a Martian, adorning complete dark grey attire with a very distinguishable symbol imprinted into the sleeves of his tunic. Despite the uniform he’s wearing, it’s easy to pick him out from the crowd because everyone happened to be giving him a wide berth, no one daring to get too close.

Kon swallows. “Yeah it’s time to go.”

There was no mistaking that symbol.

Kon didn’t understand the grey attire, he had only ever seen them wear all black, but that symbol was more than enough to get him moving. Sending the stall owner a tight, apologetic smile, he straightens up and reaches out for Tim, grabbing him by the wrist. Without thinking about it he starts dragging Tim through the crowds in the opposite direction to the Martian. Perhaps they could loop around to get the ship? Any means to avoid being in sight and risk any contact what so ever. Though if there’s one then surely there’s more. Kon’s surprised they haven’t bumped into them yet.

Letting himself be guided through the market, Tim speaks up behind him. “On the ship, the workers all had different uniforms. Majority of them wore black and carried weapons, however on the occasion I would see different beings wearing different coloured uniforms. Sometimes dark grey, sometimes dark green, midnight blue and even a dark burgundy colour. I never found out what they meant though.”

Kon grits his teeth and continues dragging Tim through the crowds. “It’s not important. The fact is that they are here and there’s probably more of them scattered around. We need to leave this planet immediately before we get noticed.”

“What about Bart and Cassie?”

Kon could only shrug at the question, though his stomach feels heavy. He doesn’t like being separated from his team like this, when there’s an imminent threat and he has no way of contacting them. “They’ll be fine, hopefully they’ve found the Forin and haven’t yet been seen. We just need to hope they’re already back at the ship considering it’s time we all meet anyway.”

They continue travelling back through the market, slowly making their way back to the ship. They get a few disgusted looks thrown their way as they barge past different groups of beings, especially when Kon nearly knocks over a stall after having to quickly dodge right to avoid another League of Assassins member.

“Shit, Kon, we’re being followed.” Tim tells him breathlessly from his left.

Kon glances over his shoulder and sure enough there were two League members following them. Kon curses. They’ve been spotted now they have very little chance of escaping.

“Run,” he says without thinking about it, “run!”

Not waiting for a response Kon darts forward, no longer caring about being subtle or pushing past species or not knocking over stalls. The sooner they get to the ship the sooner they can get off the planet and make an escape from the League.

It’s only when the ship comes into sight that Kon slows down enough to focus on his surroundings once again. He’s expecting Tim to be by his side and his teammates beside the ship. Clearly he had expected to much because none of those things were what he saw.

His team weren’t in sight next to the ship and Tim wasn’t by his side. Upon seeing that his human companion wasn’t next to him he abruptly stops moving and frantically starts looking around. Tim wasn’t anywhere in sight.

“Kon! Kon-el!”

The scream gets his attention and he looks back the way he came. How far behind was Tim? Without hesitating Kon sprints back the way he came, retracing his steps should lead him back to Tim especially if the human keeps screaming his name.

Rao, he feels terrible! It’s only as he’s running back to help Tim that he remembers of course Tim wouldn’t be by his side, Kon has superspeed! Tim is human, he doesn’t have any special abilities and Kon just left him behind without second thought.

It only takes moments to find Tim. A large space in the middle of the market had been made from where others had either fled the scene or where they have moved to create an area for the fight happening at the centre of it.

Tim is there with two League members, fighting to break free of their holds on him. The members were clearly trying to pin the human down but Tim’s making it difficult with the way he’s frantically squirming in their hold.

Kon barges his way through what crowd has stayed behind to watch the scene and immediately joins the fight. He dives in and knocks one of the members off and away from Tim. As he hits the ground Kon jumps onto him and throws a ferocious punch to his head which lands with a sickening crunch.

When the body underneath him stops moving, either dead or unconscious (Kon wasn’t really thinking about it in that moment), he spins around and goes for the other one which has now climbed on top of Tim and had the human’s wrists held in his hands.

Kon tackles him off of Tim and they go rolling to the side. Fortunately Kon ends up on top and just as he had done with the other, he brings his fist down against his head rendering him unconscious. As soon as the body goes still Kon sweeps the area in search for Tim and finds the human climbing up to his feet.

“Tim! Are you okay?” Kon asks worriedly, rushing over to the human’s side and helps him to stand up.

Tim coughs and brushes dirt off his clothes and glances around at the two bodies. “I’m good thanks. They grabbed me from behind.”

Kon hums and quickly scans Tim, seeing if he is in fact fine. He’s grateful that he doesn’t find anything wrong with Tim. He reaches out to take Tim’s wrist again, planning on dragging him back to the ship and not let go until they got there. “Come on, before more appear.”

He doesn’t want to think about how easy it had been to take down those League members. Weren’t assassins supposed to be skilled and unbeatable? How had Kon easily knocked them unconscious with a punch? The element of surprise probably helped but there’s more to it than that.

There’s also the question of why they hadn’t been able to pin Tim down easily, especially considering his weaker species. Were they trying to avoid hurting him? Trying to restrain him with little injury as possible?

Kon shakes his head, he’ll have to work out the details later on. For now he grabs Tim’s wrist and turns to start making their way back to the ship when he’s immediately cut short. There in front of them were three more League members.

Kon turns the opposite way only to find two more standing behind them. Next to him Tim tenses and presses in close against Kon. “We’re surrounded.” No matter what direction they look in there’s a League member standing there staring right back at them.

“Kon, what do we do? There’s no way we can get past this many.”

Kon doesn’t respond to Tim’s statement. Tim’s right of course but he doesn’t want to admit it, the speckle of optimism that they’ll get out of this fine flickers inside of Kon but he doesn’t know if it’s enough this time round.

He looks at the variety of members surrounding them. They’re all different, all different species all with a variety of abilities, strengths and weaknesses. If Kon was to exploit one, he’d only open up the strength of another.

An idea comes to mind and Kon glances up. He huffs when he sees more figures above them, flying in the open air. So flying away isn’t an option. He had the idea of simply grabbing Tim and flying them out of there but with League members in the sky, it isn’t happening.

Eventually one of them steps forward, speaking to them in a short authoritative tone. “The human needs to come with us.”

“That’s not happening.” Kon immediately retorts back.

“If he refuses to come then we will have no choice but to use force.”

Well it’s a little late for that, Kon thinks to himself. Next to him he hears Tim mumble to himself, “Like that’s stopped you before.”

Kon has no idea how it happened but within moments they’re battling one another. One moment they had been talking and then the next they’re engaged in combat. As he fights the members he tries to stick close to Tim but it’s difficult to keep an eye on the human as he tries to not die.

He knocks a couple members down before getting grabbed behind and slammed into the ground. Before he could grasp what’s going on hands wrap around his neck and begin to squeeze, he scrambles against the hold on his and just as he’s about to throw them off using his telekinesis a golden rope appears and wraps around the neck of his attacker.

His attacker is then abruptly thrown off him with a yell. Kon scrambles to his feet and looks up to find Cassie there, beating the guy into submission. Once he stills she turns to him. “We were wondering why you both were late, it’s a good thing we decided to try and find you both.”

A blast of air meets Kon and suddenly Bart is there standing next to him. “Well this meeting is a lot sooner than anticipated.” He blurs off again before Kon could reply.

The fight between them continues and Kon has a hard time locating Tim in the midst of it all. As he begins to worry about the human having already been taken away from them he hears a shout from his left and Kon glances over there just in time to see Tim flipped over a League member’s back to land hard on the ground.

Kon makes a move to go help Tim when suddenly Bart is there tackling the guy off Tim. Unfortunately it doesn’t go according to plan. Keeping a hand on Tim the member snaps his other arm out and grabs Bart by the head. The Speedster yelps in surprise however before he could do anything another League member tackles him from the side making them both crash to into the ground. Kon watches as they grapple for a moment but when it ends the League member is standing up and Bart lies unmoving on the ground.

From his position Kon couldn’t see what had been done to make the Speedster go unconscious. His heart pounds rapidly inside his chest as despair washes over him. “BART!”

A force hitting his side brings him back to his own situation and Kon quickly deals with the member currently fighting him. A few quick punches and the use of super strength the member collapses to the ground and doesn’t get up again.

Within that short time, the League have managed to get a hold of Tim and Kon stares as they begin to drag the human away. They have hold of Tim’s arms, locking them above his head as they drag him across the ground away from the main fight.

With Tim’s arms captured in a hold his only leverage is his legs and Kon watches as Tim digs his feet into the ground to try and cease their movements but his efforts were futile. He thrashes and squirms in their holds but they don’t let go.

It’s only when a shout from behind him gets him moving. “Go after him! I’ll handle these!”

Knowing and trusting Cassie to have his back Kon breaks forward, sprinting towards Tim and the figures dragging him away. Anything that attempts to stop him, Kon instantly strikes down, his mind now set on the mission of getting Tim back and free of those hands.

Unfortunately this single mindset would be his down fall.

With his focus purely on Tim, Kon failed to see the League member coming at him from the side. It’s when pain explodes from his torso that he realises his mistake. Kon takes a sharp breath in as his whole body lurches. Sudden vertigo washes over him and unable to get his balance Kon stumbles, collapsing on the ground moments later.

Curling up on his knees, he cries out as his side throbs, his whole vision blurs together, nausea stirs inside of him and everything becomes hazy. A muffled yell which he thinks is his name comes from somewhere in front of him but he’s not able to comprehend it. Everything hurts.

He eventually looks down, eyeing up his side where the pain is coming from, only to wish he hadn’t looked. At what he sees makes the nausea he had been feeling comes to the front full force and unable to prevent it, Kon vomits making a mess of the ground in front of him. Everything only becomes more painful as his body seizes, a series of spasms wrecking through his frame as everything inside of him comes out through his mouth.

When his body finally stops seizing he tries to take deep controlled breaths to get his thoughts together, however every breath he takes only causes his side to throb in pain. He prepares himself again and looks down to where a large piece of Kryptonite is embedded in his left side.

He takes in another sharp breath and lets it out. One of the only things that can harm him, that could kill him, and he’s been stabbed with it.

He could feel the effects it’s having on him thrumming through his body. He could feel that he’s already weaker, his senses are dulled down to almost numbness and his powers are basically non-existent now.

Forcing himself to look away from his wound, Kon looks back up and surveys his surroundings through blurry vision. He’s alone. There’s no one around meaning that Tim is no longer in sight and that means the League have taken him.

Kon lets out a yell, one that indicates both pain and anger. They’ve gotten Tim even after Kon told the human that the League wouldn’t get him. That Kon and his team would protect him. They failed in the worst way possible, Rao knows what they’ll do to him once Tim is back in the clutches if the Demon’s Head. They need to rescue him.

With that in mind Kon moves his attention back to his wound. He could still feel his body getting weaker and knows that it’s only a matter of time before his body gives out on him. He needs to get to the ship before that happens.

Gritting his teeth he wraps a hand around the piece of Kryptonite and in one motions rips it out of his side. Screaming in agony Kon throws the kryptonite away from him and clutches his side with a hand while taking long breaths in an attempt to stabilize himself.

Eventually he forces himself to get up to his feet which is an almost impossible feat. He staggers a few times but eventually gets himself standing upright. Now he needs to find his team and get to the ship.

Stumbling along, Kon heads back the way he originally came. He could feel himself swaying from side to side but he stays determined to find his friends. After what feels like eons, he finds Cassie sat on the floor hissing as he presses a hand to her shoulder. Bart’s body could be found to her left, the Speedster still apparently unconscious and unmoved.

It worries Kon. Cassie is injured too, meaning they found something that can only hurt an Amazon and if Bart is still not awake, they’ve obviously done something serious to him.

“Cassie…” The Amazon looks over at him, blood and dirt covering her face and clothes, her eyes widen at the sight of him.

“Kon?”

Kon staggers over to her and shakes his head in defeat. “They’ve got him, they got Tim,”

A flash of anger washes over Cassie, despite her attitude towards the human, this is something she wouldn’t have wished upon him. Still holding her wounded shoulder, she climbs to her feet and eyes Kon up worriedly. “We need to get back to the ship before we collapse. We’ll have to carry Bart between us.”

Somehow they manage to gather Bart’s unconscious body and carry it between them. The entire experience was tedious and painful, every step felt like torture and Kon wanted nothing more than to just give in to the darkness that’s threatening his vision.

They barely make it back to the ship. Kon fumbles to open the doors up and once inside he locks it before he and Cassie struggle with Bart’s body up the stairs and into the medical room. They deposit the Speedster onto the bed in the centre of the room before falling to the ground themselves, lacking the energy to stay on their feet for any longer.

“Call for… emergency…” Cassie speaks up brokenly. “Not another… option… Kon.”

Kon grunts and once again stumbles to his feet, having to use the walls for support. He makes his way out of the room and heads for the cockpit, having to lean against the wall to help keep himself upright the entire time.

When he gets there he stumbles over to the dashboard, promptly falling onto it once there. Using the last of his energy he slams his hand down on the emergency beacon. The alert will go to those on Krypton, letting them know of their location and the fact they need help. With that in mind Kon can’t fight against it anymore and lets the darkness take over.

[littlegalerion]

A letter from the Vestige to Vanus Galerion

_______________________________________

Father,

I'm writing to you, for once, on guild business! Imagine that. Though does that please you, or concern you? Well, in this case you should be glad. You know what a plague anxiety can be, with your past sufferings, and my own current condition. Long have we restoration sages tried to find a spell that not only treats the physical aspect, but the mental as well. Considering restoration requires one to have a powerful heart full of emotion, it is shocking we've never found one.

No, I haven't found a spell. But I have discovered something that at least seems to show promise.

Do not ask how the original substance came about. Just know that I was visiting Godfather Aithilo in his home with Root-Whisper village. There is a...well, a slime substance that was brought to our attention. Typical slime- gooy, messy, and the scent repulsive. But then Aithilo messed with some of it a bit, adding in some of his pottery clay. It was a off handed thing done out of boredom, but the slime took on a different texture. It became more solid, yet as soft and flexible as whipped frosting. No mess.

I had already began to get a little unnerved-a definate attack was on it's way. Aithilo had known, I knew he had, and perhaps that's what really made him play around with the slime. Anything to distract me and snuf out the anxiety bubbling up to strangle me. He let me mess with the new substance, and I quickly became addicted to it. No, not a serious addiction. Calm down. You have a lot to worry about with me, but a drug addiction isn't on the list.

It's so cool to the touch, so flexible and squishie, but not messy or gross. It's like pottery, but not a slab of clay that dries, crusting on your fingers. I kept folding it, squeezing it, stretching it out and remixing it.

The point is, my attack never grew worse. I was still anxious, but playing with this slime definately took the edge off.

Aithilo thinks it's a sensory related topic, in terms of touch. For some, all we need is to feel the weave of fabric, the smooth leather of a saddle, or a cold surface of a metal cog to ground us.

We've made more samples of the slime, and are begining to add scents into it. So far we've been very successful with honey and lavender.

Perhaps this seems little to most. A new toy. But this is the first time anything physical has ever assisted in dulling one of my anxiety attacks. Be it a silly hook, I'm going to take it. If I can truly figure this out, and see how it fairs with a few friends of Aithilo's who deal with mental strain or disorders, that in itself is more than I've ever been able to do for the sake of mental "restoration magic". Maybe the slime could be enchanted to have even more sensory stimulating affects?

I had to update you. I'm excited, Father! Finally, something, after how many years now? 250, if not more? Tell Mother we may need her enchantment and alchemist skills.

Always with Love,

Trechire

[bluesey-182]

We Have To Stop Meeting Like This - Chapter 8

holy shit??? i finally did it??? i finished this chapter??? amazing. since there are so many chapters now i’m just going to start linking the fic on ao3 instead of linking all the posts separately. i hope that’s okay. now, without further ado, here is the update:

--------

“Hey, I didn’t think you’d answer.”

On the other line of the phone came the blasting sounds from a video game as someone shot a simulated gun. “Why?” Cardan asked. It sounded like he had his cell on speaker phone. “Cause it’s one in the morning?”

Jude couldn’t help herself--she rolled her eyes even though he wasn’t there to see it. “No, Cardan, because I thought both of your hands had been gnawed off by a giant rat. Of course because it’s almost one o’clock.”

There was uproarious laughter--deep and male--from the other end that didn’t sound like Cardan’s laugh. His roommate, probably. But if he had heard her, that confirmed her theory about being on speaker.

“First of all,” Cardan’s amused voice cut through the laughter. “The only rat that would be big enough to best me in a fight is an R.O.U.S from The Princess Bride and they don’t actually exist. And second of all, darling, I’m a nocturnal creature, so of course I’m awake to answer your late night booty calls. Now what can I do for you?” Machine gun fire continued in the background from his end, joined with shouting from Cardan’s roommate to “watch out, dude, watch out! damnit now you’re dead. way to go, geezer.”

“I just,” Jude began but quickly cut off, unsure of how to proceed knowing that someone else was listening in on their conversation--even if he was clearly wrapped up in whatever violent video game the two boys seemed to be playing. “Um…”

“Hang on, Jude.” There was some mumbling from his end as words were exchanged, then a click like a door being closed, and suddenly the game’s noises were gone and Cardan’s voice was closer. He had taken her off speaker. “Okay I’m alone now, sorry. Is everything okay?”

“I just,” Jude started again and trailed off once more. “I can’t sleep.”

It had been almost a week since her last seizure. A week since Cardan broke down her door to find her on the floor laying in her own blood. Six days since Madoc hired someone to fix the girls’ door, five days since Madoc ordered Jude to move back home until they could get her seizures back under control, and two days since Vivi finally helped Jude convince their father to let her stay in her own apartment. The last week had been exhausting and yet Jude was restless. She would be lying if she said she wasn’t scared after what had happened. 

“Do you want me to come over?” Cardan offered helpfully, and the sincerity of his offer nearly brought tears to Jude’s eyes. 

“No,” she admitted. “No, I want… out. I don’t want to be here right now.”

“Where do you want to be?”

“I don’t actually know.”

A brief silence washed over them, interrupted only by the sound of Taryn’s cat meowing from somewhere in the apartment. Finally, Cardan said, “I’m on my way to pick you up.”

--------

The first thing Jude noticed when she got into Cardan's car was his wild hair. The perpetually messy curls were somehow even more unkempt than usual. The second thing she noticed was that Cardan was wearing sweatpants that fit him in a very pleasing way underneath a hoodie that some primal part of her begged to steal from him. The third thing she noticed was his smirk at her noticing him.

"Good evening," Cardan said in a mockery of a stereotypical vampire voice. 

"What, are you Dracula now?" Jude teased.

"I think I'd be more of a faerie than a vampire, actually." 

"Then why the vampire voice?"

"Jude Duarte: ever the critic."

"Spare me.” Jude tugged the seatbelt across her body and buckled it with some effort--the buckle itself was coated in a sticky substance that was likely spilled soda. She hoped it was soda. “Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise."

"Cardan--"

"I promise there's not immediate danger to your person, if that's what you're worried about. Just trust me?" 

Jude searched Cardan's face for any trace of deceit but came up empty. Hesitantly, she nodded her assent. Satisfied, Cardan put the car into gear and drove down the street like a person who decidedly deserved to have their license revoked. At Jude's surprised shriek, he laughed, earning himself a scowl from Jude.

"I thought you said there was no immediate danger to my person," she said.

"I just floored the gas a bit, it's not like I ran a red light into oncoming traffic."

"You really are such a terrible driver, you know that?" Jude asked once Cardan had stopped laughing. Instead of a verbal response, Cardan reached for the volume nob on the radio and turned his music up to deafening volumes. As he had done before in the car, Cardan began singing along to the words--the sound more shouting than singing--as he occasionally looked over to Jude to sing parts of the lyrics to her. His face was so openly happy and carefree that something in Jude’s chest tugged on her like a line trying to reel her into him. Watching his lips form the words made her want to kiss him. Hearing his terrible singing made her want to join in. Watching the streetlights flash across his face made her feel free, alive, happy. Her mind told her heart that she was right where she was supposed to be.

The song changed and Cardan flashed a grin over to her but soon frowned at whatever expression was on her face. Quickly, he spun the volume back down to near silence and asked Jude ever so gently, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she croaked. Really, nothing should have been wrong, but her chest was aching in a way she couldn’t place. It was the sort of feeling of being happy but fearing it at the same time--a fear that it would end. “Can I play a song?”

Cardan looked as if he didn’t quite believe her answer to his question but nevertheless waved a hand to his phone on the dash in permission for her to pick it up. A cursory search through his music library showed her mostly alternative rock and pop music and loud punk songs, but in his playlists she found one with a promising title of “Chill Music.” She also found a playlist with her name on it. Jude pretended not to see it, even though her heart skipped a beat, and instead clicked on the first playlist.

Khalid started playing through the speakers as Cardan turned into an unlit parking lot in front of a chain of mostly darkened store-fronts. The stereo continued to play even after the car was shut off before finally turning off completely when Cardan crawled into the backseat and opened a functioning door to get out of his crap car. He came around to her side of the car and opened the door for her, holding his hand out to her like some fairytale prince asking a princess for a dance instead of a boy in a dark parking lot on a late night outing in his sweats who had also just clambered around his own car like a jungle-gym.

“Shall we?” He asked. Jude rolled her eyes at his dramatics--eliciting a laugh from Cardan--but accepted his hand and allowed him to guide her out of his car.

“Are you ever going to get your dented front bumper fixed?” Jude asked when her eyes caught on the evidence of their first meeting. She was surprised that even after all that time had passed he still hadn’t taken his car into a body shop. He clearly had the money for it. “Or your door, for that matter?”

“Nah, it pisses my dad off that I’m ruining the car.”

“Makes me wonder if you crash it on purpose,” Jude teased.

“Maybe I do,” Cardan admitted flippantly, his voice at odds with whatever flashed in his eyes. “I do a lot of reckless shit. But crashing into you truly was an accident, in case you're wondering. Now, let’s go inside before all my precious fingers fall off. It’s cold out here.”

"Are you going to tell me where we're going now?"

"Well there's only one place still open right now," Cardan said, indicating with his hand one of the only lit buildings in front of them. A half burnt out sign above the doors proclaimed the place to be Ginkgo Garden and the smell of Chinese food drifted through the air. Jude inhaled deeply and looked to Cardan for confirmation of food in her near future. He smiled softly before offering her his hand to hold. Somehow, in the dark, it seemed like no big deal to hold onto him. She took his hand and they strode towards the restaurant.

“Why are they still open?” She wondered aloud. Beside her, Cardan shrugged.

“We’re in a college town and they do late night deliveries to the panicked students trying to cram everything into their brain at once?” He suggested.

“Makes sense.”

Inside the front doors they were blasted with a rush of hot air coming from an unseen heater in the ceiling. Jude welcomed it and, beside her, Cardan shivered one final time as if to shake the cold from his body for good. He released her hand to pull open the second set of inner doors for her, and Jude tried not to mourn the loss of his hand in hers. The restaurant's interior greeted them with green chairs and wallpaper patterned with mandarin trees. Soft music played softly over the sound of clinking dishes coming from the kitchen. Other than the young man standing behind a counter to the left of the door, no one appeared to be in the front house of the restaurant. Cardan exchanged familiar greetings with the smiling guy at the counter as Jude further took in the beautiful and elaborate decorations all over the place. It felt more like a home inside than a restaurant with its cramped but lovingly decorated space. Behind her, Cardan and the man kept chatting like old friends and Jude wondered just how often Cardan came here.

“Jude, this is Harry,” Cardan interjected into her train of thought, confirming her suspicion that he was a regular here. “Harry, this is Jude.”

“Hey, nice to meet you,” Harry smiled at her with so much genuine warmth that for a moment Jude was caught off guard by the open kindness from a total stranger. On its own accord her face seemed to smile back, but something told her it came out a bit more like a grimace. Cardan grinned at her and turned a conspiratorial grin towards Harry.

“I’m afraid Jude doesn’t smile much,” he said.

“You’re such a dick,” Jude remarked.

“She does, however,” Cardan continued, “say sweet nothings such as that to me all the time.”

Jude rolled her eyes as the two boys chuckled and decided it was best to tune them out. When her efforts proved fruitless (Cardan had proceeded to start listing all the “wondrous, heartfelt names” that Jude had “very fondly” called him since they had met for Harry to laugh at in increasing volumes as the names got more creative) Jude caught sight of a sign near the back that read "Bathrooms" with an arrow pointing in the wrong direction. Over her shoulder she caught eyes with Cardan long enough for an exchange of nods--one from her indicating where she’d be and one from him acknowledging that he understood--then ducked into the single stall restroom and locked the door behind her. Sounds from outside the small room reached her through the thick door as if from underwater. Everything sounded distorted and far away. Though she could hear the undertone of Cardan’s voice, all distinct words were drowned out, leaving behind only a melodic quality to his speech. She loosed a heavy sigh and turned so her back was against the door. From this new perspective, she caught sight of herself in the mirror. 

She liked to think that the mirror was hung unusually high but knew the reality was that she was too short to see her reflection below her shoulders. In the mirror she could see the dark circles under her eyes as evidence of her sleepless nights. Not for the first time, she wondered what Cardan saw when he looked at her. Did he see the girl in armor or the girl beneath it? Was she pretty to him? Or were her edges too sharp?

Jude tore her gaze away from her reflection and stepped forward to the sink where she turned her attention to the drain instead. As if on autopilot, she absently reached out to turn the sink handle, cupped some cool water into her palms, and gently splashed it onto her face. Droplets of water ran down her arms into her rolled-up sleeves as she allowed herself to stand there for a moment with her hands covering her face. Finally, she took a deep breath, snatched a paper towel from the dispenser, dried herself off, and walked out of the bathroom to find Cardan playing on his phone at one of the tables.

“All good?” He asked.

“Yeah, I got an eyelash in my eye and needed to rinse it out.” The lie came easily, but then again they always did.

“I ordered some food to go, Harry just ran back to get it for us. I was thinking we could take it back to my place and watch TV? I’ll even let you pick the show, as long as you don’t pick something that sucks.”

“Says the guy that watches Criminal Minds,” Jude teased, falling back into their easy banter.

“Hey,” Cardan pointed an accusatory finger in her face as she sank into the chair opposite him and she batted it away like an annoying gnat. “Criminal Minds,” Cardan continued regardless, “is interesting. It’s interesting to me how someone can be so fucked up to do the things they do.”

“And why do you do the things you do, Cardan?”

“Because my family didn’t want me so now I must act up to get attention.”

“See? That didn’t take fourteen seasons to explain.”

Just as Cardan made to reply, the kitchen door opened to reveal Harry carrying a large brown bag. Cardan stood and took the food, goodbyes were exchanged, and then Jude and Cardan were walking back into the cold. Before the doors closed all the way, Harry’s voice called out, “It was nice meeting you Jude!” and she waved over her shoulder and tried for a real-looking smile this time. When she turned back around, Cardan was standing with the passenger side door open for her.

“You know I can get my own doors, right?” She said with no real heat behind it.

“Yes, well, I keep getting to the doors before you and it seems foolish to stand and wait for you to open them for me.”

“I hate you, do you know that?”

“You’re lying. Do you know that?” Cardan grinned his wicked grin and Jude considered stomping on his toes. Instead, she got in the car. Cardan jogged over to his side of the car and pointed at the window controls as a request for Jude to roll it down for him. She shook her head in mockery, pretending not to understand what he was asking. Cardan gave her a withering look and mouthed at her to roll down the window. With her left hand she reached over for the controls and locked the doors.

“Jude,” Cardan groaned through the glass barrier as Jude began to laugh. “C’mon, my balls are freezing off.”

“Fine, fine.” She unlocked the car. Cardan glared at her and Jude continued to laugh.

Finally the sight of him shivering out in the cold, as well as the beginnings of a snow storm drifting through the air, became too pitiful and Jude rolled down the driver’s side window for Cardan to crawl through. Immediately his hands reached for the heater and he turned to her with a scowl as she laughed. 

“I so want to be mad,” Cardan said as he reached into the backseat to set the bag of food onto the leather backseat, “but your laugh is distracting me.” 

“I’ll stop laughing then,” Jude replied, trying to school her features into a more serious expression. The efforts sent her into a laughing fit again.

“No,” Cardan said softly. His lips curled up into a small smile while he watched her. “Don’t stop. I like your laugh.”

At his confession, Jude’s laughter finally petered out. The sudden silence in the car felt deafening as the two of them sat at stared at each other. The air felt charged with--something. All Jude knew was that if she didn’t look away now, her feelings were going to overwhelm her. 

She looked away.

Cardan cleared his throat as Jude played with the hem of her jacket. Neither of them spoke as he turned on the car, connected the bluetooth on his phone to the stereo. Not a glance was exchanged as the music started up again and Cardan turned to look through the rearview window to back the car out of the parking lot. When the car pulled up to the third stoplight in a row, Cardan broke the awkward silence.

“Do you want me to take you home?”

“No,” Jude whispered. “No, I’m sorry. I’m just…”

“It’s okay.”

Jude resumed fiddling with the hem of her jacket as the streetlight washed over them in green and the car proceeded with its progress down the road.

“I’m scared,” Jude found herself saying.

“I can take you home,” Cardan offered again softly, looking over at her with those dark eyes that she could so easily drown in.

“Not of you,” Jude said. “Just… this whole… seizure thing has had me messed up lately.”

“Understandably so.” Though he still looked concerned, Cardan seemed to have relaxed slightly at her words. 

“I mean… What were you thinking?” Jude continued.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Jude started, then stopped abruptly. “I mean what were you thinking when I called you? When you found me just laying there? Were you thinking ‘oh god she’s so pathetic’ or--”

“Jude,” Cardan interrupted, stopping her words with a gentle hand placed over her knee. “Please don’t ever think that I’d feel like that.”

“Then what were you thinking?” Until now Jude hadn’t noticed the moisture in her eyes. She tried to hold the tears back, but Cardan noticed them anyway and pulled over onto the side of the road. As the car rolled to a complete stop, all of Jude’s emotions finally poured over and she was crying, she was crying, she was crying. Distantly she registered Cardan’s fingers brushing against the backs of her hands. He asked a question, asked if it was alright to touch her, and took her hands in his when she nodded. Gingerly, he cradled her hands in his. Reached out to wipe away the streams of tears rolling down her cheek. Whispered to her until his voice finally reached her and she began to calm down. His thumb was rubbing soft circles into the back of her hand as his other hand trailed gently through the hair framing her face. Slowly, slowly, Jude came back to herself, back to the car, back to him. She forced herself to look into his eyes because the only other option was to let the shame of her tears consume her. In his eyes, though, was only a gentle understanding. Any judgement or disgust she may have expected was missing from his gaze. The Cardan sitting in front of her was so far away from the Cardan that she had met when he rear-ended her, or the Cardan she had ran into at Valerian’s stupid party. The Cardan in front of her was without armor and she longed to take off her own.

“Do you really want to know what I was thinking?” He asked her gently. Jude nodded, unable to speak. Instead of answering right away, Cardan looked down to where he still held her hand and watched his own fingers draw circles on her skin. His voice cracked when he tried to speak. "When you called me…. when you called me, I had some joke ready to make you laugh or call me a jackass or roll your eyes at me. But then I answered and you didn't say anything at first and I knew something was wrong. I know you don't remember, but I do. You said help. Just help, that was all, but you sounded so scared and my heart started beating out of my chest. I asked you where you were three times before you were finally able to tell me you were at home and then you were completely silent. I drove like a bat out of hell to get to you, pushing the speed limit by 20 in some areas and daring the cops to pull me over, because there was no way in hell I would stop for anything. I was on the phone with you the whole time, just hoping you'd say something else, anything else, but you never did. I got to your place and… you wouldn't answer the door, Jude.” He looked up at her, his eyes glazed over. “I have never in my life been that afraid or that desperate to get to someone. So I broke the door in. I didn't even know I could do that,” Cardan laughed without humor and turned his eyes to look through the windshield. “I was just so goddamn panicked. And then I saw you there, and you were crying, and that was the only way I knew you weren't dead. There was so much blood, Jude. And you weren't moving. And all I could think was ‘I can’t lose her. I can’t lose this girl that makes me feel like I’m more than the fuck-up my family has always seen me as. This girl that makes me feel safe enough to laugh without cruelty, who smiles so rarely but so brightly, who calls me a jackass even though her eyes seem to be begging to say something else. I can’t lose this girl when I’m just finally getting to know her.’ All I could think about, Jude…” When he looked at her this time, it was his eyes full of tears. “Was that you had to be okay. Because I don’t know what I would have done if you weren’t.”

Was she crying again? Instinctively Jude’s hand tightened around his and she cradled his hands like he had done to hers. She didn’t know what to say, didn’t know if there was anything to say. She felt useless as Cardan gathered himself back together without a word from her, but then he brought her knuckles to his lips and brushed a kiss across her skin. 

“Thanks,” she whispered lamely. “For saving me.”

“Sorry for breaking your door.”

“I didn’t like it, anyway.”

Cardan laughed, but it was a shadow of his usual one.

--------

At midnight Jude awoke having to pee. Yuri On Ice still played quietly on the television that washed the room in a soft blue light. Empty containers of Chinese food were spread haphazardly around them on the comforter. Cardan was sprawled out on his bed beside her, mouth open slightly as soft noises of sleep escaped him. At the sight of his peaceful face Jude stopped to look at him for a moment. The planes of his face looked softer in sleep--his cheekbones and jawline less like they could cut her heart to pieces, his beautiful mouth so invitingly soft and begging for her to make them smile. And those beautiful black curls of his were a halo on the pillow. He was so heart-achingly beautiful.

She thought she might love him.

The revaluation jolted her out of bed and she rushed to the bathroom while her heart jackhammered in her chest. With the bathroom door closed and safely separating them, Jude tried to reason with her own racing thoughts. Love was a complicated thing. Love was a distant memory that came with her mother spinning her around in her arms and sticky fingers from popsicles and chasing her father around the living room when he snatched her blanket from her. Love was something she chased to get from Madoc, something she found late at night curled in bed with her sisters as they laughed to hide their shared heartbreak, something the morning light seemed to wash away once reality set back in. Love was something that could die, and the thought of losing Cardan hit her like a punch to the gut. For a moment she couldn’t breathe. 

No, she couldn't love Cardan. But back in his bedroom, when she crawled into bed and he immediately wrapped his arms around her without waking up, she wondered if maybe it wasn't just possible--but undeniable. 

She felt him shift behind her until their bodies were pressed together and then his soft voice spoke into her hair. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," she replied a little breathless. "Just had to use the bathroom."

Cardan hummed a response and was likely already halfway to being asleep again when Jude rolled over onto her other side to face him. His eyes reluctantly opened to look at her, bleary and half open. He really was beautiful. Jude’s chest tightened with want. 

No, she couldn’t lose him. And yet...

"Cardan," she breathed before she could lose her nerve. "About what you said at the hospital. About you telling them you're my boyfriend…"

"I didn't know what else to s--"

"What if I want you to be. My boyfriend, I mean."

A small, sleepy smile spread across Cardan's face as his eyes drifted closed once more. He pulled Jude into him more so that her head rested against his chest--planted a kiss on top of her head, and said, "Then I'm yours."

Moments later he was softly snoring.

[khelsale]

13 Essential Badminton Tips for Beginners

Badminton is an adolescent, well-disposed game; even still, if you're getting the game inquisitively, it's dependably imperative to several pieces of information. Here are 13 top Badminton tips for novices that will assist you with improving.

So in case you're a juvenile hoping to improve quickly, continue looking for some top Badminton tips.

Perpetually warm-up fittingly

Our first Badminton tip is to attempt to heat up appropriately is so basic for any game. It very well may be ideal if you got your muscles warm so they can connect with no issue. This will help keep away from unreasonable wounds and will set you up for some quick Badminton.

Ideally, it may be ideal if you got some amazing growing close by running or avoiding done before you play. See our Badminton warm-up direct for a model warm-up arrangement that will kick you off up.

Gain ability with some fundamental footwork

Badminton is a quick game; it requires a decent extent of accessibility and speed to play well. It very well may be ideal if you had reasonable and beneficial footwork to have the choice to get around the court with no issue. yonex shuttlecock

Badminton doesn't utilize a ton of headways that individuals are utilized to. In Badminton, you occasionally utilize any running or running. Badminton depends upon much truly pursuing, influencing, and bobbing. Getting a basic view of how to utilize these headways will help an unfathomable plan.

See the video from Badminton Famly under where they disclose moving to the four corners of the court.

Get settled with your hold.

The fundamental thing to get not some time before you can get any shot right is the hold. Regardless of whether its forehand, strike or ask handle, it's key to get settled with how you hold the racquet in every manner.

Practice it reliably at home. Get your racquet and work on changing from forehand to strike and two or three fundamentals shots. The more you do it, the more standard exchanging and discovering your grasp will change.

Lee Jae Bok from Coaching Badminton has an incomprehensible video on getting the Badminton to deal with right. It's something you change once the correct way, and it winds up being so standard you don't need to consider everything.

Know the rules

This may seem, by all accounts, to be an evident one. Yet, you can't expect to get a considerable amount of wherever playing a progression of Badminton if you don't have even the remotest hint about the norms. As of now, this doesn't mean knowing the rulebook everything being equal. In any case, it recommends understanding the essentials of scoring, serving, what's in and out, and what you may have the choice to.

Nothing can be more overwhelming for adolescents by, at that point, learning the guidelines unusually. That is the clarification we set up or control Badminton rules. It covers the rules in a wonderful adolescent manner with a relationship with more isolated helpers if you need to find extra.

Watch some quality YouTube content

We're fortunate these days to push toward such a huge load of amazing substance on essentially any subject you could need to learn. Badminton is no exemption; YouTube makes them flabbergast, illuminating Badminton channels. This has, as of late, improved all through the long stretch, particularly in 2019-2020.

You can discover Badminton content on any piece of the game. Regardless of whether you need to get settled with the strike serve or the strike cut drop shot, there is a video showing you how. Head over to our total guide on the Best Badminton YouTube channels and look under the illuminating area to begin.

Keep your racquet up.

This tip is extremely annoying. Ordinarily, individuals need to drop their arms to their sides when they're not dynamic. It very well may be ideal if you combat the motivation to do this a great deal of the time, particularly in case you're playing at the net in copies.

Right, when I say keep your racquet up too, I don't mean over your head; I mean having up and gazed upward and outwards so that arranging is speedier. Raising your racquet from your side each time is moderate so keep your racquet up.

We alluded to duplicates of netplay; take a gander at this video, including Kevin Sanjaya Sukamuljo. He's consistently orchestrated his racquet up. If he's near the net, he may have his racquet much higher to block. By the by, dependably have your racquet up fairly.

Take the necessary steps not to try to be awesome.

Various adolescents present the error when securing some new significant data to get each viewpoint heavenly. Take the necessary steps not to center in an especially colossal aggregate on getting everything right, decently rotate around gaining ground.

In case you're learning one more shot, center around learning the individual pieces of the strategy. Now, welcome a comparative proportion of energy on going along with them all. The odds are you will not have managed each point, and that is fine. Zero in on predictable updates that will amount to immense overhauls over the long haul

Flawlessness itself is distant; the best players who whenever lived never accomplish impeccability. Perceive that you'll submit botches and that you'll find several things harder to overpower than others. In any case, long you spin around little updates that will impact.

Play with an elevating viewpoint

It is inconvenient; nevertheless, players beat themselves under the careful gaze of their progression on the court a ton of times. If you understand you're going up against a more grounded player, don't think, "smart gosh I will get wandered now." Rather, consider it a chance to learn. In the current circumstance, you don't have anything to lose and all to acquire; the other player is expected to win, go out there and play wholeheartedly.

Positive reasoning can be hard for a couple. It isn't easy to stand up and hold your ground. It very well may be ideal if you built up an uplifting outlook on and off the court.

Remove up when hitting.

By a long shot, most imagine that power in Badminton comes all from the muscles and strength. They see top players that play with such animosity without a doubt. They're applying a particularly extraordinary arrangement of power. Young people build up the tendency for pushing superfluously, making a reasonable undertaking.

Your muscles should be allowed to move straightforwardly; you can't make an enormous heap of racquet speed if you're holding your racquet tight and focusing before hitting. You're making the fundamental strides not to lift weight here; you're attempting to make power through advancement. Stay loose up when hitting, and let the racquet and your swing accomplish more vital work.

Recuperate back to the middle

Badminton is about control; you, generally, ought to be answerable for the vehicle and the social occasion. You might not want to be the one running any place on the show to get the van back. You ought to be the player dependably in the point of convergence of the court, picking where to play right away.

When you play, you overall need to consider returning to the mark of the union of the court after each shot. The mark of the union of the court can change contingent on the condition, yet that is for some other time. From the mark of the union of the court, you're a practically identical parcel away from each corner. This works on it to appear at the going with a shot.

Have a defense for each shot

Right when you're from the outset start, it's more insightful to zero in on the essentials and decide to return the vehicle reliably. As you improve, begin to consider which shot you should play and why. This winds up being critical for a more significant approach when you play.

Play each gave a reasonable result, regardless of whether it's trying to urge your foe to play it back to a specific spot or through and win the point. You will not, overall, get what you're seeking after at any rate. It's more tricky to an essential procedure than no strategy in any capacity whatsoever.

Develop your steadiness and get fit

Badminton is an irksome game. Beyond question, even as an adolescent, you'll sweat quickly. Developing your general prosperity levels will help you improve; you'll have the decision to play longer, resuscitates, and get around the court less perplexing.

As a novice, you can develop your steadiness in various propensities:

Do some light running/running 2-3 times each week.

Avoiding bit by bit for 30 minutes

Play more Badminton

Cool-down and stretch in the wake of playing

Also, as immense as heating up effectively before playing is chilling off and unwinding up in the wake of playing. As a young person, it's so major to promise you to cool down continuously and stretch your muscles in a little while.

A decent cool-down will consistently slash down your inside warmth level, recommending that your muscles will not set up and turn into a web sensation superfluously quickly. Extending your muscles this way while they're warm will help improve adaptability and lessen the headway of lactic ruinous, inciting muscle endurance and squashing.

If you don't have even the remotest clue of what to remember for your cool-down, look at our guide for a reasonable Badminton cool-down step-by-step practice.

Related solicitations

How could I improve my badminton limits?

Try and practice at any rate 2-3 times each week, without help from some other individual or partner, and work on unequivocal limits pondering a conspicuous objective. By and large, the quicker procedure to improve your abilities is to set up considerably more dependably with mindful practice.